he is not, when he will be; and
if he is not in town, to bring the summons back.

Nothing can be more disobliging than a refusal which is not grounded on
some very strong and unavoidable cause,--except not coming at the
appointed hour;--"according to the laws of conviviality, a certificate
from a sheriff's officer, a doctor, or an undertaker, are the only pleas
which are admissible. The duties which invitation imposes do not fall
only on the persons invited, but, like all other social duties, are
reciprocal.

"As he who has accepted an invitation cannot disengage himself from it;
the master of the feast cannot put off the entertainment on any pretence
whatever. Urgent business, sickness, not even death itself, can dispense
with the obligation which he is under of giving the entertainment for
which he has sent out invitations, which have been accepted; for in the
extreme cases of compulsory absence, or death, his place may be filled
by his friend or executor."--_Vide le Manuel des Amphitryons_, 8vo.
_Paris_, 1808; and _Cours Gastronomique_, 1809; to which the reader is
referred for farther instructions.

It is the least punishment that a blundering, ill-bred booby can
receive, who comes half an hour after the time he was bidden, to find
the soup removed, and the fish cold: moreover, for such an offence, let
him also be _mulcted_ in a pecuniary penalty, to be applied to the FUND
FOR THE BENEFIT OF DECAYED COOKS. This is the least punishment that can
be inflicted on one whose silence, or violation of an engagement, tends
to paralyze an entertainment, and to draw his friend into useless
expense.

BOILEAU, the French satirist, has a shrewd observation on this subject.
"I have always been punctual at the hour of dinner," says the bard; "for
I knew, that all those whom I kept waiting at that provoking interval,
would employ those unpleasant moments to sum up all my faults.--BOILEAU
is indeed a man of genius, a very honest man; but that dilatory and
procrastinating way he has got into, would mar the virtues of an angel."

There are some who seldom keep an appointment: we can assure them they
as seldom "'scape without whipping," and exciting those murmurs which
inevitably proceed from the best-regulated stomachs, when they are
empty, and impatient to be filled.

The most amiable animals when hungry become ill-tempered: our best
friends employ the time they are kept waiting, in recollecting and
repeating any real faults w