ulate his helps, by the
proportion which his dish bears to the number he has to divide it among,
taking into this reckoning the _quantum_ of appetite the several guests
are presumed to possess.

"Study their genius, caprices, _gout_--
They, in return, may haply study you:
Some wish a pinion, some prefer a leg,
Some for a merry-thought, or sidesbone beg,
The wings of fowls, then slices of the round
The trail of woodcock, of codfish the sound.
Let strict impartiality preside,
Nor freak, nor favour, nor affection guide."

_From the_ BANQUET.

The guest who wishes to ensure a hearty welcome, and frequent invitation
to the board of hospitality, may calculate that the "easier he is
pleased, the oftener he will be invited." Instead of unblushingly
demanding of the fair hostess that the prime "_tit-bit_" of every dish
be put on your plate, receive (if not with pleasure, or even content)
with the liveliest expressions of thankfulness whatever is presented to
you, and forget not to praise the cook, and the same shall be reckoned
unto you even as the praise of the mistress.

The invalid or the epicure, when he dines out, to save trouble to his
friends, may carry with him a portable MAGAZINE OF TASTE. (See No. 462.)

"If he does not like his fare, he may console himself with the
reflection, that he need not expose his mouth to the like mortification
again: mercy to the feelings of the mistress of the mansion will forbid
his then appearing otherwise than absolutely delighted with it,
notwithstanding it may be his extreme antipathy."

"If he likes it ever so little, he will find occasion to congratulate
himself on the advantage his digestive organs will derive from his
making a moderate dinner, and consolation from contemplating the double
relish he is creating for the following meal, and anticipating the (to
him) rare and delicious zest of (that best sauce) good appetite, and an
unrestrained indulgence of his gormandizing fancies at the chop-house he
frequents."

"Never intrust a _cook-teaser_ with the important office of CARVER, or
place him within reach of _a sauce-boat_. These chop-house cormorants,
who

'Critique your wine, and analyze your meat,
Yet on plain pudding deign at home to eat,'

are, generally, tremendously officious in serving out the loaves and
fishes of other people; for, under the notion of appearing exquisitely
amiable, and killingly agreeable to the gues