n I respect most in the
world should have been exposed to such a scene--! Burton too was
horrified--.

I had the most awful sensation of discomfort--the very fact of having to
hear of all this through servants was sufficiently disgusting, without
the events themselves being so degrading.

What must Alathea think of me! And I cannot even allude to the subject.
How wonderful her dignity has been that she has allowed no extra
contempt to come into her manner.

How shall I have the pluck to ask her to marry me? I mean to do so
to-morrow when she comes.

* * * * *

_Saturday:_

I am going to write the events of these last days down without any
comment.

I came in to the sitting-room after Alathea had arrived. She was writing
at her desk in the little salon. I looked in and asked her if she would
come in and speak to me. Then I got to my chair. She entered obediently
with the block in her hand, ready to begin work.

"Will you sit down, please," I said, indicating a chair, where she would
face me and the light, so that no shade of her expression should be lost
upon me. (I shall become quite an expert in reading mouths. I am obliged
to study hers so closely!)

I felt less nervous than I have ever felt when with her. I thought there
was the faintest shade of alertness in her manner.

"I am going to say something which will surprise you very much, Miss
Sharp," I began.

She raised her head a little.

"I will put the case to you quite baldly--I am very rich as you know--I
am still horrid to look at--I am lonely and I want a companion who would
play the piano to me, and who would help me to write books, and who
would travel with me. I cannot have any of these simple things because
of the scandal people would make--so there is only one course open to
me--that is to go through the marriage ceremony--Miss Sharp--under those
terms will you marry me?"

Her attitude had become tense--her face did not flush, it became very
pale. She remained perfectly silent for a moment. I felt just the same
as I used to do before going over the top--a queer kind of excitement--a
wonder if I'd come through or not.

As she did not answer I went on. "I would not expect anything from you
except a certain amount of your company. There would not be any question
of living with me as a wife--I would promise even to keep in check that
side which you once saw and which I was so sorry about. I would settle
lots of