reeled into the
station, hoping against hope that somebody _would_ be fool enough to
steal the swine....

"Yes, the buffet was closed. Of such is the city of Bordeaux.... When
I recovered consciousness I sought for you two. I asked several
officials if they had seen two gentlemen. Some walked away as if
nettled: others adopted the soothing attitude one keeps for the
inebriated. Upon reflection, I don't blame them. I had a weak case....

"At last I returned to the car. Alas, it was still there. I then had
recourse to what is known as 'the process of exhaustion.' In fact, I
found it extremely useful. By means of that process I was eventually
successful in starting the engine, and, in the same elementary way, I
got into top gear. I drew out of that yard with a running backfire
nearly blowing me out of my seat.

"Well, the general idea was to find a garage. The special one was to
hear what people said when I stopped to ask them the way. The fourth
one I asked was a chauffeur. Under his direction, one first of all
reduced the blinding stammer of the exhaust to an impressive but
respectable roar, and then proceeded in his company to a dairy, a
garage, another dairy and a hotel--in that order. I gave that chap a
skinful and fifty francs....

"Yesterday I drove home. I can prove it. All through the trams, like
a two-year-old. I admit I took over six hours, but I lunched on the
way. I trust that two of the poultry I met are now in Paradise.
Indeed, I see no reason to suspect the contrary. So far as I could
observe, they looked good, upright fowls. And I look forward
confidently to an opportunity of apologising to them for their untimely
translation. They were running it rather fine, and out of pure
courtesy I set my foot positively upon the brake. Unfortunately, it
wasn't the brake, but the accelerator.... My recollection of the next
forty seconds is more than hazy. There is, so to speak, a hiatus in my
memory--some two miles long. This was partly due to the force with
which the back of the front seat hit me in the small of the back. Talk
about a blue streak.... Oh, it's a marvellous machine--very quick in
the uptake. Give her an inch, and she'll take a hell of a lot of
stopping. However...."

"Have you seen Roland?" I said.

"Yes. He dined last night. I told him you'd broken down his beauty
and that I had administered the _coup de grace_. He quite believed it."

"What did he say?" said