to remember the Fair by. And
what do you think, she just said she thought he was very kind, but she
didn't believe she could take it, for it was so big. But she would like
awfully to have it. I saw the man shut one eye and say to the other man
that the woman was crazy, because it was just the same kind of coal that
she put into the stove every day at home."

"Now the only thing I've got to grumble about," said Uncle, "is what's
models and what's facts. There is no use of scaring people to death with
things that ain't so. Now over in the Government building I saw some hop
plant lice that was not less than a foot long; there was a potato bug
nine inches long, and there was a chinch bug two feet long, for I out
with my rule and measured it. When I seen them I said, the Lord help the
people who live where them things do, and then some city folks laughed
at me, when at last Fanny came along and said they was models. Then we
went into another room and there was soldiers from everywhere and army
things that made me believe I was back again with Sherman, but there
again they were wax, excepting the wagons and guns. I went up to one of
the officers when I fust come in and I says, says I, "Are you regular
army folks or Illinois militia?" and he didn't answer, and I turned to
one of the privates and I asked why there was so many of them bunched
together, then I seed some folks a laughing at me and I slunk away. I
say the government is in poor business when it makes sport of its own
defenders."

[Illustration: "A souvenir for her."]

"Over there in the Transportation building I seen what it said was the
boat Columbus sailed in; but after all, Fanny said it was a model. Right
close to it was the boat what Grace Darling rowed out into the storming
sea and saved so many lives. I thought it was a model, but Fanny said it
was the very boat she used. I jest thought ef that was really the boat,
we could all be sure that Grace Darling didn't stand o' Sunday mornins
afore the glass a paintin' and a powderin'." He was getting himself
worked up to the belief that he was a very much abused old soldier, when
Fanny said:

"Grandpa, I have just cut a splendid piece of poetry out of the paper
about the Fair. The man who wrote it don't live far from us, for his
address says at the bottom, 'Mr. Matthews, from Effingham County,' and
I'm going to keep it in my scrap-book. Let me read it to you:

_The City of the Workers of the World_

THE BUI