ns. It has been what those whose situation disables them from
looking further than the surface of things would regard as unfortunate;
but, if my goods and evils were equitably balanced, the former would be
the weightiest. I have found kindness and goodness in great numbers, but
have likewise met prejudice and rancor in many. My opinion of Farquhar
is not lightly taken up. I saw him yesterday, and the nature of his
motives in the treatment of my brother was plain enough."
Here this topic was succeeded by others, and the conversation ceased not
till the hour had arrived on which I had preconcerted to visit Mrs.
Fielding. I left my two friends for this purpose.
I was admitted to Mrs. Fielding's presence without scruple or
difficulty. There were two females in her company, and one of the other
sex, well-dressed, elderly, and sedate persons. Their discourse turned
upon political topics, with which, as you know, I have but slight
acquaintance. They talked of fleets and armies, of Robespierre and Pitt,
of whom I had only a newspaper-knowledge.
In a short time the women rose, and, huddling on their cloaks,
disappeared, in company with the gentleman. Being thus left alone with
Mrs. Fielding, some embarrassment was mutually betrayed. With much
hesitation, which, however, gradually disappeared, my companion, at
length, began the conversation:--
"You met me lately, in a situation, sir, on which I look back with
trembling and shame, but not with any self-condemnation. I was led into
it without any fault, unless a too hasty confidence may be styled a
fault. I had known Mrs. Villars in England, where she lived with an
untainted reputation, at least; and the sight of my countrywoman, in a
foreign land, awakened emotions in the indulgence of which I did not
imagine there was either any guilt or any danger. She invited me to see
her at her house with so much urgency and warmth, and solicited me to
take a place immediately in a chaise in which she had come to the city,
that I too incautiously complied.
"You are a stranger to me, and I am unacquainted with your character.
What little I have seen of your deportment, and what little I have
lately heard concerning you from Mrs. Wentworth, do not produce
unfavourable impressions; but the apology I have made was due to my own
reputation, and should have been offered to you whatever your character
had been." There she stopped.
"I came not hither," said I, "to receive an apology. Your
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