ELEVENTH FLAT

While Carrie Cook sat with a book
The phonograph played sweetly.
Then came the rocket and it smashed
That instrument completely.

Fair Carrie promptly turned her head,
Attracted by the roar.
"Dear me, I never heard," she said,
"That record played before!"

[Illustration: ELEVENTH FLAT]

TWELFTH FLAT

De Vere was searching for a match
To light a cigarette,
But failed to find one with despatch,
Which threw him in a pet.

Just then the rocket flared up bright
Before his face and crackled,
Supplying him the needed light--
"Thanks, awfully," he cackled.

[Illustration: TWELFTH FLAT]

THIRTEENTH FLAT

Home from the shop came Maud's new hat--
A hat of monstrous size!
It almost filled the tiny flat
Before her ravished eyes.

When, sch-u-u! up through the box so proud
The rocket flared and spluttered.
"I said that hat was all too loud!"
Her peevish husband muttered.

[Illustration: THIRTEENTH FLAT]

FOURTEENTH FLAT

Tom's pap had helped him start his train,
And all would have been fine
Had not the rocket, raising Cain,
Blocked traffic on the line.

It blew the engine into scrap,
As in a fit of passion.
"Who would have thought that toy," said pap,
"Would blow up in such fashion!"

[Illustration: FOURTEENTH FLAT]

FIFTEENTH FLAT

Orlando Pease, quite at his ease,
The "Morning Star" was reading.
"My dear," said he to Mrs. Pease,
"Here's a report worth heeding."

The rocket then in wanton sport
Flashed through the printed pages.
The lady gasped, "A wild report!"
Then swooned by easy stages.

[Illustration: FIFTEENTH FLAT]

SIXTEENTH FLAT

Doc Danby was a stupid guy,
So, lest he sleep too late,
He placed a tattoo clock near by
To waken him at eight.

But, ah! the rocket smote that clock
And smashed its way clean through it!
"You have a fine alarm," said Doc,
"But, say, you overdo it!"

[Illustration: SIXTEENTH FLAT]

SEVENTEENTH FLAT

A penny-liner, Abram Stout,
Was writing a description.
"The flame shot up," he pounded out--
Then threw a mild conniption.

For through his Flemington there shied
A rocket, hot and mystic.
"I didn't mean to be," he cried,
"So deuced realistic!"

[Illustration: SEVENTEENTH FLAT]

EIGHTEENTH F