been like saw-filing to the nerves of
the president for many years, and the president immediately prepared to
contradict him, regardless of what it might be that Simon Gratz
disapproved of. It happened to be the simplified spelling. He waved the
morning paper at the president and wanted to know what _he_ thought of
this outrageous thing of chopping off the tails of good old English
words with an official carving-knife, ruining a language that had been
fought and bled for at Lexington, and making it look like a dialect
story, or a woman with two front teeth out.

It rather strained the president sometimes to think of a sound train of
argument against Simon Gratz at a moment's notice. Sometimes he had to
abandon the beliefs of a lifetime in order to take the other side of a
proposition that Simon Gratz announced unexpectedly, and it was still
harder to get up an enthusiasm for one side of a thing of which he had
never heard, as he sometimes had to do; but he was ready to meet Simon
Gratz on either side of the simplified spelling matter, for he had read
about it himself in the morning paper. It had seemed a rather
unimportant matter until Simon Gratz mentioned it, but now it
immediately became a thing of the most intimate concern.

"What do I think?" he asked. "I think it is the grandest thing--the most
sensible thing--the greatest step forward that has been taken for
centuries. That is what I think. It is a revolution! That is what I
think, Mr. Gratz."

He swung around in his chair and struck his desk with his fist to
emphasize his words. Mr. Gratz, whose opinions were the more obnoxious
because he was a stockholder of the company, sniffed. The way he had of
sniffing was like a red rag to a bull, and he meant it as such. The
president accepted it in the spirit in which it was meant. He said:
"Bah!"

"I will tell you what it is," said Mr. Gratz, pushing his chin up at the
president. "It is the most idiotic--"

[Illustration: "_'I will tell you what it is,' said Mr. Gratz_"]

"Don't tell me!" cried Mr. Smalley. "I don't want you to tell me
anything! What do you know about the English language, anyhow? 'Gratz!'
That is a pretty name for a man who pretends to have a right to say how
the English language shall be spelled! Don't I know your history, Mr.
Gratz? Don't I know you had your name changed from Gratzensteinburgher?
And you pretend to be worried because our President and the most
talented men in the country want