' Interurban Ixpriss
Company. P-h-e-n-i-x is th' improved and official spellin' av th' worrd,
and th' rules av th' company is agin lettin' any feenixes with an 'o' in
thim proceed into th' official business av th' company. And th' same of
that 'Sulphur' worrd. It has been improved and fixed up accordin' to
gineral order number sivin hunderd and noineteen, and th' way t' spell
it is 'S-u-l-f-u-r,' and no other way goes across th' counter av th'
ixpriss company whilst Mike Flannery runs it. And th' ixpriss company
will have none of your 'Armourville,' Mr. Warold. There be no 'u' in th'
worrd as 'tis simplified by th' order av th' prisidint av th'
Interurban."

Mr. Warold looked at the package and then at Flannery, and gasped. He
was slow to anger, and slow in all ways, and it took him fully two
minutes to let Flannery's meaning trickle into his brain. Then he pushed
the package across to Flannery again and laughed.

"That is all right," he said. "I read all about the simplified spelling
in the papers, and if your company wants to adopt it, it is none of my
business, but this has nothing to do with that. This is the name of a
company, and the name of a town, and companies and towns have a right to
spell their names as they choose. That--why, everybody knows that!"

"Sure they have th' right," admitted Flannery pleasantly, but pushing
the package slowly toward Mr. Warold; "sure they have! But not in th'
ixpriss office av th' Interurban. 'T is agin th' rules t' spell any
feenixes with an 'o' in th' ixpriss office, or any sulphurs with a 'ph,'
or any armours with a 'u.' Thim spellin's and two hunderd an'
ninety-sivin more are agin th' rules, and can't go. Packages that has
thim on can't go. Nawthin' that has thim in thim or on thim or about
thim can't go. Gineral order number sivin--"

"Look here," said Mr. Warold slowly. "I tell you, Flannery, that those
words are the names of a company--"

"An' I tell ye," said Flannery, holding the package away from him with a
firm hand, "that rules is rules, and gineral orders is worse than rules,
an' thim spellin's can't go."

Mr. Warold flushed. He put his hand opposite to Flannery's hand on the
package and pushed with an equal firmness.

"I offer this package for shipment," he said with a trace of anger
beginning to show in his voice. "I offer it to you just as it is;
spelled as it is; and without change or anything else. This express
company is a common carrier, under the Inte