saved; that instead of keeping too many servants, is a
servant to every body herself; and that, in short, when he makes the
strictest examination, finds she lays out nothing but what is absolutely
necessary, what now must this man do? He is ruined inevitably--for all
his expense is necessary; there is no retrenching, no abating any thing.
This, I say, is the worst case of the two indeed; and this man, though
he may say he is undone by marrying, yet cannot blame the woman, and say
he is undone by his wife. This is the very case I am speaking of; the
man should not have married so soon; he should have staid till he had,
by pushing on his trade, and living close in his expense, increased his
stock, and been what we call beforehand in the world; and had he done
thus, he had not been undone by marrying.
It is a little hard to say it, but in this respect it is very true,
there is many a young tradesman ruined by marrying a good wife--in
which, pray take notice that I observe my own just distinction: I do
not say they are ruined or undone by a good wife, or by their wives
being good, but by their marrying--their unseasonable, early, and hasty
marrying--before they had cast up the cost of one, or the income of the
other--before they had inquired into the necessary charge of a wife and
a family, or seen the profits of their business, whether it would
maintain them or no; and whether, as above, they could pay the charges,
the increasing necessary charge, of a large and growing family. How to
persuade young men to consider this in time, and beware and avoid the
mischief of it, that is a question by itself.
Let no man, then, when he is brought to distress by this early rashness,
turn short upon his wife, and reproach her with being the cause of his
ruin, unless, at the same time, he can charge her with extravagant
living, needless expense, squandering away his money, spending it in
trifles and toys, and running him out till the shop could not maintain
the kitchen, much less the parlour; nor even then, unless he had given
her timely notice of it, and warned her that he was not able to maintain
so large a family, or so great an expense, and that, therefore, she
would do well to consider of it, and manage with a straiter hand, and
the like. If, indeed, he had done so, and she had not complied with him,
then she had been guilty, and without excuse too; but as the woman
cannot judge of his affairs, and he sees and bears a share in
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