" answered the Chancellor, with some
surprise. "Yes, you," answered the King; "for I had just said that you
were the greatest whore-master in England! Is it not true?"--"Of a
SUBJECT, Sir," replied Lord Shaftesbury, "perhaps I am." It is the same
in everything; we think a difference of opinion, of conduct, of manners,
a tacit reproach, at least, upon our own; we must therefore use ourselves
to a ready conformity to whatever is neither criminal nor dishonorable.
Whoever differs from any general custom, is supposed both to think, and
proclaim himself wiser than the rest of the world: which the rest of the
world cannot bear, especially in a young man. A young fellow is always
forgiven and often applauded, when he carries a fashion to an excess; but
never if he stops short of it. The first is ascribed to youth and fire;
but the latter is imputed to an affectation of singularity or
superiority. At your age, one is allowed to 'outrer' fashion, dress,
vivacity, gallantry, etc., but by no means to be behindhand in any one of
them. And one may apply to youth in this case, 'Si non errasset, fecerat
ille minus'. Adieu.

LETTER CLXXXIX

BATH, October 19, 1753

MY DEAR FRIEND: Of all the various ingredients that compose the useful
and necessary art of pleasing, no one is so effectual and engaging as
that gentleness, that 'douceur' of countenance and manner, to which you
are no stranger, though (God knows why) a sworn enemy. Other people take
great pains to conceal or disguise their natural imperfections; some by
the make of their clothes and other arts, endeavor to conceal the defects
of their shape; women, who unfortunately have natural bad complexions,
lay on good ones; and both men and women upon whom unkind nature has
inflicted a surliness and ferocity of countenance, do at least all they
can, though often without success, to soften and mitigate it; they affect
'douceur', and aim at smiles, though often in the attempt, like the Devil
in Milton, they GRIN HORRIBLY A GHASTLY SMILE. But you are the only
person I ever knew in the whole course of my life, who not only disdain,
but absolutely reject and disguise a great advantage that nature has
kindly granted. You easily guess I mean COUNTENANCE; for she has given
you a very pleasing one; but you beg to be excused, you will not accept
it; but on the contrary, take singular pains to put on the most
'funeste', forbidding, and unpleasing one that can possibly be imagined.
This