her of ambition or love; and
a rival, in either, is almost a synonymous term for an enemy. Whenever
you meet such a man, you are awkwardly cold to him, at best; but often
rude, and always desirous to give him some indirect slap. This is
unreasonable; for one man has as good a right to pursue an employment, or
a mistress, as another; but it is, into the bargain, extremely imprudent;
because you commonly defeat your own purpose by it, and while you are
contending with each other, a third often prevails. I grant you that the
situation is irksome; a man cannot help thinking as he thinks, nor
feeling what he feels; and it is a very tender and sore point to be
thwarted and counterworked in one's pursuits at court, or with a
mistress; but prudence and abilities must check the effects, though they
cannot remove the cause. Both the pretenders make themselves disagreeable
to their mistress, when they spoil the company by their pouting, or their
sparring; whereas, if one of them has command enough over himself
(whatever he may feel inwardly) to be cheerful, gay, and easily and
unaffectedly civil to the other, as if there were no manner of
competition between them, the lady will certainly like him the best, and
his rival will be ten times more humbled and discouraged; for he will
look upon such a behavior as a proof of the triumph and security of his
rival, he will grow outrageous with the lady, and the warmth of his
reproaches will probably bring on a quarrel between them. It is the same
in business; where he who can command his temper and his countenance the
best, will always have an infinite advantage over the other. This is what
the French call un 'procede honnete et galant', to PIQUE yourself upon
showing particular civilities to a man, to whom lesser minds would, in
the same case, show dislike, or perhaps rudeness. I will give you an
instance of this in my own case; and pray remember it, whenever you come
to be, as I hope you will, in a like situation.

When I went to The Hague, in 1744, it was to engage the Dutch to come
roundly into the war, and to stipulate their quotas of troops, etc.; your
acquaintance, the Abbe de la Ville, was there on the part of France, to
endeavor to hinder them from coming into the war at all. I was informed,
and very sorry to hear it, that he had abilities, temper, and industry.
We could not visit, our two masters being at war; but the first time I
met him at a third place, I got somebody to presen