were urged with
such pathos, accompanied with such fascinating smiles and leers, that
the fife-major occasionally vouchsafed to comply, always, however,
keeping up his dignity, by making a compliance with such requests appear
a great condescension. I strutted about the town with my little cane
under my arm, like some great man of eminent consequence, whom the
community could not do without; became a great favourite with all my
officers; was happy and contented; and time passed imperceptibly and
very pleasantly away. Meantime, I grew very tall, though somewhat
slender; and my red coat had been thrown off, for which was substituted
a splendid white silver-laced jacket, with two small silver epaulettes,
which my swagger induced to fan the evening breeze.

My days were now comparatively cloudless; yet still my youthful tricks
had not entirely left me. Some of these frequently led me into scrapes
and unpleasant predicaments. The following were among the frolics with
which I at this time diverted myself: viz., filling the pipes of my
comrades with gunpowder; putting a lighted candle in their hands while
asleep, then tickling their noses with a straw; tying their great toes
together, then crying out fire; blacking their hands with soot, then
tickling their ears and noses, to induce them to scratch themselves, and
thus to black their faces all over; putting lighted paper between their
toes when asleep; pulling the stools from behind them when in the act of
sitting down; sewing their shirts to their bedding when asleep: all
these, with fifty more, I regret to say, were in those days my constant
delight and practice. These mischievous pranks led me into many a fight,
but that did not discourage me. I had a natural propensity to tease
people; and, as I did not scruple to indulge it, you may be sure I did
not escape without my share of tricks in return. He who plays at fives,
says the old proverb, must expect rubbers; and accordingly, one day,
when I was sitting upstairs, a hundred voices bawled out, "Pass the word
for the fife-major; the adjutant wants him." I bounced down in an
instant, and soon found that the whole barrack were in a roar of
laughter at my expense; for, to the tail of my coat was attached a large
sheet of paper with these words in legible characters, "The Biter Bit."
To have evinced any displeasure at this hoax, would only have served to
render me more ridiculous, and to increase the hooting and laughter at
my ex