us; on perceiving which my knees broke into
double-quick time, and my heart into a full gallop. On arriving near to
the spot where our guilty party was drawn up, the colonel, addressing
us, stated that, "the gentleman who stood by his side, complained that
he had lost one of his geese, and had informed him he had good reason to
suspect that some of the party to whom he now spoke had stolen it." For
the satisfaction of "the gentleman," whom we, one and all, most heartily
wished under ground, our knapsacks were ordered to be examined, and
underwent the most scrupulous inspection; but no goose was to be found.
Professing his regret for the trouble he had caused, and apparently
satisfied that his suspicions were ill-founded, our worthy landlord was
just on the point of leaving us, and the boys around were grinning with
delight at the notion of having so effectually deceived him, when, to
our utter confusion and dismay, the goose, at this very juncture, gave a
deep groan, and the landlord protested roundly that "that there sound
was from his goose." Upon this, the investigation was renewed with
redoubled ardour; our great coats were turned inside out, and, in short,
almost everything belonging to us was examined with the minutest
attention; but still no goose was to be found. The officers could not
refrain from smiling, and the boys began again to grin at the fun; but
this merriment was doomed to be but of short duration, for the poor
goose, now in its last moments, uttered another groan, more loud and
mournful than the former one. In fact, the vital spark had just taken
its flight; and this might be construed into the last dying speech of
the ill-fated bird, and a full confession of its dreadful situation and
murder. The drum, in which the now defunct goose was confined, stood
close against the landlord's elbow, and his ear was, unfortunately for
us, so correct in ascertaining whence the sound of woe proceeded, that
he at once roared out, "Dang my buttons, if my goose bean't in that
there drum!" These words were daggers to our souls; we made sure of as
many stripes on our backs as there were feathers on the goose's; and our
merriment was suddenly changed into mortification and despair. The
drum-head was ordered to be taken off, and sure enough there lay poor
goosey, as dead as a herring. The moment the landlord perceived it, he
protested that "as he was a sinner, that was his goose." This assertion
there was no one among us