illed with sand, was poked into the
back of my head, round which the hair was gathered tight, and the whole
tied round with a leather thong. When I was dressed for parade, I could
scarcely get my eyelids to perform their office; the skin of my eyes and
face was drawn so tight by the plug that was stuck in the back of my
head, that I could not possibly shut my eyes; add to this, an enormous
high stock was poked under my chin; so that, altogether, I felt as stiff
as if I had swallowed a ramrod, or a sergeant's halberd. Shortly after I
was thus equipped, dinner was served; but my poor jaws refused to act on
the offensive, and when I made an attempt to eat, my pad behind went up
and down like a sledge-hammer.

In the evening I went to parade, and was inspected by the colonel, who
said I was a promising lad, but that my clothes did not fit, which he
ordered to be altered. At this moment the master of the band came up to
the colonel, and said that he should like to have me in the band, to
learn the flute and to beat the triangles. This request was granted, and
I was the following day removed to the band-room, and commenced my
musical avocations; and in six months I had beaten the sides of the
triangles nearly as thin as my own, and had also become a tolerable
flute-player: but, as at that time we got several volunteers from the
militia, among whom were two excellent flute-players, I was removed back
to the drummer's room, and put to the fife. In a short time I was made
fife-major--no small office, I assure you. I wore two stripes and a
tremendous long sash, which almost touched the ground. As the reader may
suppose, I was not a little proud of my new office; I began to ride the
high horse among my old comrades, and to show my authority by enforcing
obedience by very powerful arguments; for I was permitted to carry a
small cane, and to use it too. In the absence of the drum-major, which
was frequent, I carried the silver-headed stick, some seven feet long,
and when we furnished the band for general guard-mounting, I astonished
the spectators with my double demi-semi twist of my cane, and began to
think myself one of the brightest of the bright. At this period the
regiment moved to the Hythe, about a mile from Colchester, and twice a
day we beat through the streets, followed by all the girls and boys in
the town, some of the rosy-cheeked beauties begging me to play favourite
tunes of theirs. These entreaties for particular airs