ns
(_Memoires_, II, 32).]

[Footnote 9: There are two good portraits of Berlioz. One is a
photograph by Pierre Petit, taken in 1863, which he sent to Mme. Estelle
Fornier. It shows him leaning on his elbow, with his head bent, and his
eyes fixed on the ground as if he were tired. The other is the
photograph which he had reproduced in the first edition of his
_Memoires_, and which shows him leaning back, his hands in his pockets,
his head upright, with an expression of energy in his face, and a fixed
and stern look in his eyes.]

[Footnote 10: He would go on foot from Naples to Rome in a straight line
over the mountains, and would walk at one stretch from Subiaco to
Tivoli.]

[Footnote 11: This brought on several attacks of bronchitis and frequent
sore throats, as well as the internal affection from which he died.]

But in this strong and athletic frame lived a feverish and sickly soul
that was dominated and tormented by a morbid craving for love and
sympathy: "that imperative need of love which is killing me...."[12] To
love, to be loved--he would give up all for that.

[Footnote 12: "Music and love are the two wings of the soul," he wrote
in his _Memoires_.]

But his love was that of a youth who lives in dreams; it was never the
strong, clear-eyed passion of a man who has faced the realities of life,
and who sees the defects as well as the charms of the woman he loves,
Berlioz was in love with love, and lost himself among visions and
sentimental shadows. To the end of his life he remained "a poor little
child worn out by a love that was beyond him."[13] But this man who
lived so wild and adventurous a life expressed his passions with
delicacy; and one finds an almost girlish purity in the immortal love
passages of _Les Troyens_ or the "_nuit sereine"_ of _Romeo et
Juliette_. And compare this Virgilian affection with Wagner's sensual
raptures. Does it mean that Berlioz could not love as well as Wagner? We
only know that Berlioz's life was made up of love and its torments. The
theme of a touching passage in the Introduction of the _Symphonic
fantastique_ has been recently identified by M. Julien Tiersot, in his
interesting book,[14] with a romance composed by Berlioz at the age of
twelve, when he loved a girl of eighteen "with large eyes and pink
shoes"--Estelle, _Stella mentis, Stella matutina_. These words--perhaps
the saddest he ever wrote--might serve as an emblem of his life, a life
that was a prey to love a