ch, "not only plenty, but too many. But
as it is scarcely worth while employing you only half an hour a day,
I shall make other arrangements."

And from that time forth he brought up his black diamonds from the
centre of the earth by machinery!

* * * * *

NOT "HALF A CHAP."--A well-known Clergyman, who "does nothing by
halves." i.e., Dean HOLE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHEN A MAN DOES NOT LOOK HIS BEST."--NO. 4.

WHEN HE JUST BEGINS TO REALISE WHAT A SUFFERING HE WOULD HAVE SAVED
HIMSELF, IF HE HAD ONLY HAD THE _COURAGE_ TO SAY "_MEDIUM_" INSTEAD OF
"HARD."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration: The Baron's Retainers, Mesdames Blythe and Gay, giving
him the results of their readings.]

In the Christmas Numbers of the numerous picture-papers it is at first
rather difficult to discover which is the genuine article illustrated,
and which the advertisement, likewise illustrated. In the outside
picture of the Christmas Number of _The Penny Illustrated Paper_,
which represents a couple dancing together, I am not yet quite sure
that the handsome Hebraic gentleman, dancing with a fair Anglo-Saxon
girl, is not assuring his frightened-looking partner that "Epps's
Cocoa is Grateful--Comforting," as stated in the paragraph immediately
beneath the aforesaid picture. On the next page is a sad illustration
entitled, "The Curse of Revenge. Lost to Human Aid." which turns out
to be not a Christmas story at all, but an advertisement for Fruit
Salt. Then opposite this commences a story by GEORGE R. SIMS; and at
the foot of this page some one replies, "Mr. DOOLAN! There's no one
of that name here now, Sir." Whereupon, being interested, the reader
turns over page 1 to find at the head of page 2, not the continuation
of the above interesting story in the shape of some remark on the part
of the inquirer, nor any account of what happened after this reply
had been given, but simply "Benson's Watches" followed by "Fry's
Chocolate," then a picture (not an advertisement) facing that, and
then on page 4 the remainder of the dialogue. It doesn't much matter
perhaps, as the excitement aroused by the story is not violent, and
the mistake of giving somebody else's card for your own does not occur
here for the first time as the motive of a plot. CUTHBERT BEDE's name
is to a "Christmas Carol," and Mr. JOHN LATEY's to a dramatically told