a worn-out glove?
You can't do with Sincerity if what you need is Love!
I could not think such ill of him, although it did look queerly,
That in his next the "most" was gone, and he was mine "sincerely."

Yet even then I loved him still, for in the human breast
Hope springs eternal, so I dared to hope on for the best;
And, after all, such things as these ought not to weigh unduly,
But it _was_ more than I could bear to have to read, "Yours truly."

The truth was clear--I quickly sent him back his lovely _cartes_,
His bangle, and his poetry of Cupid and his darts.
I said to him how grieved I was his love had thus miscarried--
And then I found out everything; alas! the wretch was married.

So here am I, as beautiful as anyone I know,
You couldn't get a better wife, no matter where you go.
And if you know, dear _Mr. Punch_, a husband, say you've seen a
Nice girl, who'd make him happy and whose name is

ANGELINA.

* * * * *

WHY THE DUES WERE THEY DONE AWAY WITH?--Under the beneficent influence
of the early coal dews--subsequently spelt coal dues--which have
existed from the earliest times, City and Metropolitan Improvements
have sprung up into existence. Now, thanks to ignorant, but
well-meaning County Councillors, the coal dues being abolished, up
goes the price of coal, up go the rates, and there is no surplus
for improvement of any sort. If those ancient days of coal dues were
considered "hard times," then sing we, in chorus, "Hard times, come
again once more!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: PRIG-STICKING.

_Little Prigson_. "OH! AS FOR GRIGSON, HE'S DISTINCTLY THE MOST
OBJECTIONABLE LITTLE PRIG IN ALL ENGLAND; BUT HIS SISTAH'S _QUITE_ THE
NICEST GIRL I EVER MET."

_Aunt Eliza_. "DEAR ME! WHAT SWEEPING ASSERTIONS! YOU _MIGHT_ HAVE
HAD THE DECENCY JUST TO MAKE THE TRADITIONAL EXCEPTION IN FAVOUR OF
_PRESENT COMPANY_!"

_Cousin Maud_. "YES; IN _BOTH_ CASES, YOU KNOW!"]

* * * * *

"A HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

_Mr. Punch, loquitur_:--

A Happy New Year? I should think so, my boy,
Tossed thus in the arms of your PUNCHY right cheerily,
'Midst all that a youngster should love and enjoy,
At least, you're beginning most merrily.
Under the Mistletoe Bough
You make a good start, anyhow.
With a kiss from the lips that can never betray,
Th