about the Cockney who, dropping his "h's," shot _peasants_ instead!
This well-worn jest will be still found attractive by Australians who
have spent the better part of their lives in the Bush.

[Illustration: ALWAYS ENTERTAINING;

OR, VERY MUCH TAKEN CUM (CORNEY) GRAIN O!]

_November_.--Good joke still to be made in the quieter suburbs about
having special appointments for the 5th, when one has to take the
chair at a meeting which perambulates the streets. Lord Mayor's Day on
the 9th--opportunity for letting off "the Mayor the merrier," "L10,000
a Mayor's Nest-egg," &c, &c. Jests about the fog not now popular--the
infliction is too serious for jocularity!

_December_.--Holiday time for everyone, inclusive of that most
melancholy of persons "the funny man." BOB LOWE (born in 1811) reaches
the age of eighty, and the Grand Old Man (born in 1809) eighty-two!
With this ingenious quibble the Amusing Rattle can wish himself a
Merry Christmas, and the remainder of the world a Happy New Year.

* * * * *

APPROPRIATE.--Sir,--Was there ever a more appropriate Christmas legal
case than appeared in the _Times_ Law Report, December 20th, and which
was entitled "_The Mayor, &c. of Bootle-cum-Linacre_ v. _The Justices
of Lancashire_?" What delightful names for a comic chorus to a _Bab
Ballad_ in a Pantomime.

_Solo_. Oh, did ye ne'er hear of His Worship the Mayor
_Chorus_. Of Bootle-cum-Linacre diddle-cum-dee;
_Solo_. Who went for the Justices of Lankyshare,
_Chorus_. Singing Bootle-cum-Linacre diddle-cum-dee.

Too late for the Burlesques and the Pantomimes, but it may still be
serviceable at Music Halls and "places where they sing."

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.

End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol.
100., January 3, 1891., by Various

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