in not less than 50 bedrooms, appropriate reception-rooms, and
a hall capable of being utilised for _fetes_ and gala entertainments
on a large scale, and must stand in the midst of extensive timbered
grounds, surrounded by orangeries, hot-houses, and beautifully kept
pleasure grounds replete with the choicest pieces of statuary and
ornamental fountains arranged for electrical illumination, the perfect
installation of which on the premises, on the newest principles, is
regarded as a _sine qua non_ by the Advertiser. The shooting over four
or five hundred acres, and the meeting of not less than three packs
of hounds in the immediate neighbourhood, with salmon and trout
fishing within easy distance of the mansion, are also considered
indispensable. Particulars as to the surrounding country gentry are
requested. Write also stating whether any recognised race-meeting is
held in the immediate vicinity. The distance of the property from
town must not be more than half an hour's railway journey, and the
inclusive rent must not exceed _five and twenty shillings a week_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE POPULAR GAME OF ARTHUR GOLFOUR. AS UNDERSTOOD BY
THE MASS OF THE PUBLIC.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE DEMON ALPS

(_Our Artist's Dream, after reading the numerous Accidents to
Mountain-Climbers._)]

* * * * *

ODE TO OZONE.

(_BY A POOR PATERFAMILIAS._)

"London is a terrible consumer of ozone."--_Standard_.

A'R--"_The Dutchman's Little Dog._"

O where and O where, is our treasured Ozone?
O where, and O where can it be?
From London to leeward 'tis utterly gone,
To windward but little floats free.

Since SCHOeNBEIN of Basle discovered the stuff,
We've lived half a cen-tu-ree.
If of it we only could swallow enough,
How healthy, how happy were we!

Condensed form of oxygen, essence of air
That's fresh, or electricitee,
Ozone is the stuff shaken health to repair.
'Tis for it we all fly to the sea!

Solidified Ozone they talk about now,
To be bought in small bricks like pressed tea.
The air that is cheering when breathed on one's brow
In cubic foot-blocks would bring glee.

How pleasant to buy one's Ozone, like one's coal,
And store it up an-nu-al-lee!
And not fly for it to some dull cockney hol
Just because it is dug by the Sea!

Ah yes, let us ha