home. I was very ill for a time with brain-fever; but at
last recovered, and set to work industriously to search for information in
respect to the human body. Dr. Lutze kept his word: he visited me at my
home, gave me more books, and directed my course of reading. But my
father, who had become reconciled to my inclination to assist my mother,
was opposed to homoeopathy, and especially opposed to Dr. Arthur Lutze. He
even threatened to turn him out of the house, if I permitted him to visit
me again; and burned all my books, except one that I snatched from the
flames.

From this time, I was resolved to learn all that I could about the human
system. I read all the books on the subject that I could get, and tried
besides to educate myself in other branches. My father was satisfied with
this disposition, and was glad to hear me propose to have a French teacher
in the house, both for my sake and for that of the other children. I
studied in good earnest by myself at the same time, going through the
usual discipline of German girls. I learned plain sewing, dress-making and
the management of the household; but was allowed to use my leisure time as
I pleased. When my sisters went skating, I remained at home to study; when
they went to balls and theatres, I was thought the proper person to stay
to watch the house. Having become so much older, I was now of great
assistance to my mother in her business. No one complained any longer of
my ugliness or my rudeness. I was always busy; and, when at liberty,
always glad to do what I could for others; and, though these years were
full of hardships, I consider them among the happiest of my life. I was as
free as it was possible for any German girl to be.

My household duties, however, continued distasteful to me, much to the
annoyance of my father, who still contended that this was the only sphere
of woman. From being so much with my mother, I had lost all taste for
domestic life: any thing out of doors was preferable to the monotonous
routine of the household. I at length determined to follow my inclinations
by studying, in order to fit myself to become a practitioner of midwifery,
as is usual in Berlin. My father was satisfied, and pleased with this
idea, which opened the way to an independent respectable livelihood; for
he never really wished to have us seek this in marriage. My mother did not
like my resolution at all. She practised, not because she liked the
profession, but because in