--yes. I see you'll have to
be _careful_.

_The P. P._ Careful, my dear fellow! I assure you I've been all
through the Academy, and there wasn't a thing there that could stand
it for a single moment--not even the R.A.'s!

[_They enter the West Room._

IN THE WEST ROOM.

_An Insipid Young Person (before_ Mr. TADEMA'S "_Unconscious
Rivals_"). Yes, that's _marble_, isn't it?

[_Smiles with pleasure at her own penetration._

_Her Mother (cautiously)._ I _imagine_ so. (_She refers to
Catalogue._) Oh! I see it's a Tadema, so of _course_ it's marble. He's
the great _man_ for it, you know!

_First Painter (who had nothing ready to send in this year)._ H'm,
yes. Can't say I care about the way he's placed his azalea. I should
have kept it more to the left, myself.

_Second Painter (who sent in, but is not exhibiting)._ Composition
wants bringing together, and the colour scheme is a little
unfortunate, but--(_generously_) I shouldn't call it altogether _bad_.

_First Painter (more grudgingly)._ Oh, you can see what he was
_trying_ for--only--well, it's not the way _I_ should have gone about
it.

[_They pass on tolerantly._

_The I. Y. P._ Can you make this picture out, Mamma? "_The Track of
the Strayed?_" The Strayed _what_?

_Her Mother._ Sheep, I should suppose, my dear--but it would have
been more satisfactory certainly if the animal had been shown _in_ the
picture.

_The I. Y. P._ Yes, ever so much. Oh, here's a portrait of Mr.
GLADSTONE reading the Lessons in Hawarden Church. I _do_ like
that--don't you?

_Her Mother._ I'm not sure that I do, my dear. I wonder they permitted
the Artist to paint any portrait--even Mr. GLADSTONE'S--during
service!

_The P. P. (before another canvas)._ Now that's about the size I want;
but I'm not sure that my wife would quite care about the _subject_.

_His Friend._ I'm rather fond of these allegorical affairs myself--for
a drawing-room, you know.

_The P. P._ Well, I'll just try the paper against it. (_He applies
the test, and shakes his head._) "There, you _see_--knocks it all to
pieces at once!"

[Illustration: "There, you _see_--knocks it all to pieces at once!"]

_His Friend._ I was afraid it would, y' know. How will _this_ do
you--_"A Naiad"?_

_The P. P._ I shouldn't object to it myself, but there's the Wife to
be considered--and then, a _Naiad_--eh?

_His friend._ She's half _in_ the water.

_The P. P._ Yes, but then--those lily-leaves in her hair,