htly, and don't rate each other at all!"

* * * * *

NEW SARUM VERSION OF "_DERRY DOWN_."--"Derry _up!_ up! Up, Derry, up!"

* * * * *

Poor Letter H.

SCENE--_Undergraduate's Room in St. Boniface's College, Oxford.
Breakfast time._

_Servant._ I see, Sir, you don't like the butter. Summer _h_air will
get to it this 'ot weather.

_Testy Undergrad._ Confound it, LUKER, I don't mind the--ahem--hair,
but kindly let me have my butter bald the next time!

[_He had swallowed a hair._

* * * * *

_Under the Great Seal_ is a new work by Mr. JOSEPH HATTON. The Busy
Baron hath not yet had time to read it, but, from answers given to his
"fishing interrogatories," he gathers that international piscatorial
questions are ably discussed in the work. JOSEPH has lost a chance in
not dedicating it to SEALE-HAYNE, M.P., and, instead of being brought
out by HUTCHINSON & Co., it ought to have been published by SEELEY.
However, even JOSEPHUS HATTONENSIS can't think of everything, though
he does write on most things.

* * * * *

AT THE NEW GALLERY.

IN THE CENTRAL HALL.

_A Potential Purchaser (meeting a friend)._ Ha--just come in to take a
look round, eh? So did I. Fact is--(_with a mixture of importance
and apology_) I rather thought of _buying_ a picture here, if I see
anything that takes my _fancy_--y' know.

_His Friend (impressed)._ Not many who can afford to throw money away
on pictures, these hard times!

_The P. P. (anxious to disclaim any idea of recklessness)._ Just the
time to pick 'em up cheap, if you know what you're about. And you see,
we've had the drawing-room done up, and the wife wants something to
fill up the space over her writing-table, between the fireplace and
one of the windows. She was to have met me here, but she couldn't turn
up, so I shall have to do it all myself--unless you'll come and help
me through with it?

_His Friend._ Oh, if I can be of any use--What sort of thing do you
want?

_The P. P._ Well, that's the difficulty. She says it must match the
new paper. I've brought a bit in my pocket with me. His Friend. Then
you can't go _very_ far wrong!

_The P. P._ I don't know. It's a sort of paper that--here, I'd better
show it you. (_He produces a sample of fiery and untamed colour._)
That'll give you an _idea_ of it.

_His Friend (inspecting it dubiously)._ Um