Were you such draggers;
Your shoes would soon be off, or worn,
You'd get, what we don't often, corn,
And end with staggers.

You'd long to be put out to grass,
Infrequent so far with your class--
NEBUCHADNEZZAR
Was quite an isolated case--
You would be tired of life's long-race;
Slaves who in Fez are,

On the Sahara could not bear
Such toil as falleth to our share,
For death would free them.
You say the farmer wants the wet
For meadows; pray do not forget
We never see them.

Philanthropists, why don't you walk?
Of slaves' hard lives you blandly talk,
Like "Uncle TOM"--nay,
You think what your own horses do,
But we--there, get along with you!
_Allez vous promener!_

* * * * *

CHANGE ITS NAME!--An estate in the Island of Fowlness, Essex, of 382
acres, was put up to auction last week, and, according to the _Daily
News_ there was only one bid at a little short of eight pounds per
acre. "The property was withdrawn." This step was judicious and
correct. It was an act of fairness to Fowlness. But then, does it
sound nice for anyone to say, "I'm living in the midst of Fowlness"?
It may be a Paradise, but it doesn't sound like it.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MISUNDERSTOOD.

_Little Girl._ "OH, MAMMA, I'M SO GLAD YOU HAD SUCH A PLEASANT DINNER
AT THE VICARAGE. AND--WHO TOOK YOU IN?"

_Mother._ "WHO TOOK _ME_ IN, DEAR CHILD! NO MAN EVER TOOK _ME_ IN.
NOT EVEN YOUR DEAR FATHER; FOR WHEN I MARRIED HIM, I KNEW ALL HIS
FAULTS!"]

* * * * *

The Mellor of the C.

AIR--_"The Miller of the Dee."_

There was a jolly MELLOR,
The Chairman of Com-mit_tee_;
They worried him from noon till night--
"No lark is this!" sighed he;
And this the burden of his song
For ever seems to be,
"I care for e-ve-rybody,--why
Does nobody care for me?"

* * * * *

VESTRIES, PLEASE COPY!--Sir RICHARD TEMPLE has announced a reduction
of the School-Board Rate by a farthing in the pound. May he never
become a ruined Temple owing to such economies! The Rate-payers will
be grateful for even a fraction of a penny, so long as it is not an
improper fraction. This sort of saving is far better than squabbling
over Theology. Says _Mr. Punch_ to Schoolboardmen, "Rate the public
lig