d works, go back again to
the play we have been discussing.

_Enter_ Hamlet. _He walks quickly across the room to the telephone, and
takes up the receiver impatiently._

_Ham._ Hallo! Hallo! I want double-nine--hal-_lo_! I want double-nine
two--hal-_lo_! Double-nine two three, Elsinore ... Double-_nine_, yes
... Hallo, is that you, Horatio? Hamlet speaking. Er--to be or not to
be, that is the question; whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the
slings and arrows---- What? No, _Hamlet_ speaking. _What?_ Aren't you
Horatio? I want double-nine two three----sorry.... Is that you,
exchange? You gave me double-_five_, I want double-_nine_ ... Hallo,
is that you, Horatio? Hamlet speaking. To be or not to be, that is
the---- What? No, I said, To _be_ or _not_ to be ... No, '_be_'--b-e.
Yes, that's right. To be or not to be, that is the question; whether
'tis nobler----

And so on. You see how effective it is.

But there is still another way of avoiding the soliloquy, which is
sometimes used with good results. It is to let _Hamlet_, if that happens
to be the name of your character, enter with a small dog, pet falcon,
mongoose, tame bear or whatever animal is most in keeping with the part,
and confide in this animal such sorrows, hopes or secret history as the
audience has got to know. This has the additional advantage of putting
the audience immediately in sympathy with your hero. "How _sweet_ of
him," all the ladies say, "to tell his little bantam about it!"

If you are not yet tired (as I am) of the _Prince of Denmark_, I will
explain (for the last time) how a modern author might re-write his
speech.

_Enter_ Hamlet _with his favourite boar-hound._

_Ham. (to B.-H.)_ To be or not to be--ah, Fido, Fido! That is the
question--eh, old Fido, boy? Whether 'tis nobler in--how now, a rat!
Rats, Fido, _fetch_ 'em--in the mind to suffer The slings and--_down_,
Sir!--arrows--put it down! Arrows of--_drop_ it, Fido; good old dog----

And so on. Which strikes me as rather sweet and natural.

A. A. M.

* * * * *

"SOCIETY" NEWS.

The S.P.C.L.A. (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Labour
Agitators) has mooted a novel and, we consider, very far-seeing scheme.
It is recognised now that a time must come when no State will be able to
ship its undesirables to another country, for the simple reason that the
available dumping grounds will gradually be exhausted or refuse to be
dumping grounds