of mental and moral weakness."

"Well, I've nothing more to suggest. You'll have to pay again."

"I shall not pay again," I replied, taking the paper gently from him. "I
am a man and an Englishman; and Englishmen are not to be intimidated."

"Do you think," I continued, "that you could hold the collector in
conversation while I glide imperceptibly from the precincts of the
station?"

"I'm perfectly sure I couldn't."

"I was afraid not," I said sadly; "that would require imagination, tact,
pluck, adroitness, in all of which commodities, my dear Smithers----
Well, no doubt it's a good thing nature doesn't mould us all alike."

"No doubt, else your handicap would not be 16, while mine is scratch."

"Golf is not life," I answered. "But I will tax your genius a little
less. Could you for a few moments look like a director of the line, or a
foreman shunter, or something of that sort?"

"I could try."

"Then," I said cheerfully, "we will bluff the collector--bluff him into
believing we are that which we are not. Many people go through life like
that. It is quite simple. All we have to do is to stroll up the station
looking as much like commercial or mechanical despots as possible; give
a kindly smile of condescension to the ticket-collector, make a casual
remark about the working of the coupling rods, and pass out of the
station."

"Yes," said Smithers.

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Yes," said Smithers.

"I see how it is," I said, taking my golf clubs out of the rack as the
train pulled up. "You have no stomach for it; the spice of adventure it
contains does not appeal to you. Well, so much for modern civilisation.
I will go through alone with it; pray, if you wish, detach yourself from
me until we are out of the station."

I sprang out and hurried up the platform; a servant of the company was
in waiting.

"Tickets, please," he said coldly--unnecessarily coldly, I thought.

I smiled. "I am glad to see," I observed genially, "that on my line at
any rate even the commander-in-chief cannot pass the sentries
unchallenged. Your sense of duty shall not go unrewarded; let me have
your card."

He stared at me stonily.

"Don't you recognise me?" I asked.

"Tickets, please," he repeated.

I have never seen a face so lacking in that gracious trustfulness which
is at once the pride and the adornment of the normal ticket-collector. I
think in his youth he must have committed a murder or robbed an orchard,
fo