r Clime
At its prime
'Twere a thesis most immeasurably fit,
So expansively elastic,
And so plausibly fantastic,
That one gets enthusiastic
For a bit.

_Unknown._

A "CAUDAL" LECTURE

Philosophy shows us 'twixt monkey and man
One simious line in unbroken extendage;
Development only since first it began--
And chiefly in losing the caudal appendage.

Our ancestors' holding was wholly _in tail_,
And the loss of this feature we claim as a merit;
But though often at tale-bearing people we rail,
'Tis rather a loss than a gain we inherit.

The tail was a rudder--a capital thing
To a man who was half--or a quarter--seas over;
And as for a sailor, by that he could cling,
And use for his hands and his feet both discover.

In the Arts it would quickly have found out a place;
The painter would use it to steady his pencil;
In music, how handy to pound at the bass!
And then one could write by its coilings prehensile.

The Army had gained had the fashion endured--
'Twould carry a sword, or be good in saluting;
If the foe should turn tail, they'd be quickly secured;
Or, used as a lasso, 'twould help in recruiting.

To the Force 'twould add force--they could "run 'em in" so
That one to three culprits would find himself equal;
He could collar the two, have the other in tow--
A very good form of the Tale and its Sequel.

In life many uses 'twould serve we should see--
A man with no bed could hang cosily snoozing;
'Twould hold an umbrella, hand cups round at tea,
Or a candle support while our novel perusing.

In fact, when one thinks of our loss from of old,
It makes us regret that we can't go in for it, or
Wish, like the Dane, we a _tail_ could unfold,
Instead of remaining each one a _stump_ orator.

_William Sawyer._

SALAD

To make this condiment, your poet begs
The pounded yellow of two hard-boiled eggs;
Two boiled potatoes, passed through kitchen-sieve,
Smoothness and softness to the salad give;
Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl,
And, half-suspected, animate the whole.
Of mordant mustard add a single spoon,
Distrust the condiment that bites so soon;
But deem it not, thou man of herbs, a fault,
To add a double quantity of salt.
And, lastly, o'er the flavored compound toss
A magic soup-spoon of anchovy sauce.
Oh, green and glorious! Oh, herbaceous treat!
'Twould te