try to draw Dora (my blotter
Is all overscrawled with her head),
If I fancy at last that I've got her,
It turns to her rival instead;
Or I find myself placidly adding
To the rapturous tresses of Rose
Miss Dora's bud-mouth, and her madding
Ineffable nose.

Was there ever so sad a dilemma?
For Rose I would perish (pro tem.);
For Dora I'd willingly stem a--
(Whatever might offer to stem);
But to make the invidious election,--
To declare that on either one's side
I've a scruple,--a grain, more affection,
I _cannot_ decide.

And, as either so hopelessly nice is,
My sole and my final resource
Is to wait some indefinite crisis,--
Some feat of molecular force,
To solve me this riddle conducive
By no means to peace or repose,
Since the issue can scarce be inclusive
Of Dora _and_ Rose.

(_Afterthought_)

But, perhaps, if a third (say a Nora),
Not quite so delightful as Rose,--
Not wholly so charming as Dora,--
Should appear, is it wrong to suppose,--
As the claims of the others are equal,--
And flight--in the main--is the best,--
That I might ... But no matter,--the sequel
Is easily guessed.

_Austin Dobson._

TU QUOQUE

AN IDYLL IN THE CONSERVATORY

|nellie|
If I were you, when ladies at the play, Sir,
Beckon and nod, a melodrama through,
I would not turn abstractedly away, Sir,
If I were you!

|frank|
If I were you, when persons I affected,
Wait for three hours to take me down to Kew,
I would at least pretend I recollected,
If I were you!

|nellie|
If I were you, when ladies are so lavish,
Sir, as to keep me every waltz but two,
I would not dance with _odious_ Miss M'Tavish,
If I were you!

|frank|
If I were you, who vow you cannot suffer
Whiff of the best,--the mildest "honey dew,"
I would not dance with smoke-consuming Puffer,
If I were you!

|nellie|
If I were you, I would not, Sir, be bitter,
Even to write the "Cynical Review";--

|frank|
No, I should doubtless find flirtation fitter,
If I were you!

|nellie|
Really! You would? Why, Frank, you're quite delightful,--
Hot as Othello, and as black of hue;
Borrow my fan. I would not look so _frightful_,
If I were