the solution of the
difficulty lies in not returning. Could anything be simpler?

Nobody wants to return. In preparing for a holiday our thoughts are
concentrated on when to go, where to go and how to get there. Who bothers
himself about when to come back, where to come back from, and how to do it?
After all, holiday-making is not to be confused with prize-fighting.

That we have come back in the past has been due as much to custom as to
anything. Someone introduced the silly fashion of returning from holidays,
and we have unthinkingly acquired the habit. Once we shake off this holiday
convention the problem of the return fare is solved.

Just stay where you are and all will be well. Sooner or later your friends
or your employer (if your return is really considered desirable) will send
a money-order. But that is their look-out. The point is that the return
fare need not trouble _you_. And you can please yourself as to what you buy
with the money-order.

Why all this outcry then about the cost of travelling in the holiday
season?

* * * * *

"M. Lappas, the young Greek tenor whose debut last season won him a
host of fiends."--_Daily Paper._

As _Mephistopheles_, we presume.

* * * * *

"Lost, Monday, July 19th, silver purse containing 10s. note and
photographs; also lady's bathing costume."--_Local Paper._

Wrapped up in the "Fisher," no doubt.

* * * * *

I once knew a bowler named Patrick
Who, after performing the "hat-trick,"
Remarked, as he bowed
His respects to the crowd,
"It's nothing: I often do that trick!"

* * * * *

BADLY SYNGED.

The scene is the morning-room of the Smith-Hybrows' South London residence.
It is the day following the final performance of the Smith-Hybrows'
strenuous season of J.M. SYNGE drama, undertaken with the laudable
intention of familiarising the suburb with the _real_ Irish temperament and
the works of the dramatist in question.

Mrs. Smith-Hybrow is seated at the breakfast-table, her head buried behind
the coffee urn. She is opening her letters and "keening" softly as she
rocks in her chair.

_Mrs. Smith-Hybrow_ (_scanning a letter_). Will I be helping them with the
sale of work? It's little enough the like of me will be doing for them the
way I was treated at the last Bazaar, when Mrs. McGupperty and Mrs.
G