glad to get rid of me, I'm sure I have good cause to
desire the getting rid of him."

No great stress should be laid on this ebullition of mortified
self-love; but it occurs oddly enough at the very time when,
according to Lord Macaulay, she was labouring to produce the very
feeling that irritated her.

"_August 28th_, 1782.--He (Piozzi) thinks still more than he says,
that I shall give him up; and if Queeney made herself more amiable to
me, and took the proper methods--I suppose I should."

"_20 September_ 1782, _Streatham_.--And now I am going to leave
Streatham (I have let the house and grounds to Lord Shelburne, the
expence of it eat me up) for three years, where I lived--never
happily indeed, but always easily: the more so perhaps from the total
absence of love and ambition--

"'Else these two passions by the way
Might chance to show us scurvy play.'"

Ten days later (October 1st) she thus argues out the question of
marriage:

"Now! that dear little discerning creature, Fanny Burney, says I'm in
love with Piozzi: very likely; he is so amiable, so honourable, so
much above his situation by his abilities, that if

"'Fate had not fast bound her
With Styx nine times round her,
Sure musick and love were victorious.'

But if he is ever so worthy, ever so lovely, he is _below me_
forsooth! In what is he below me? In virtue? I would I were above
him. In understanding? I would mine were from this instant under the
guardianship of his. In birth? To be sure he is below me in birth,
and so is almost every man I know or have a chance to know. But he is
below me in fortune: is mine sufficient for us both?--more than amply
so. Does he deserve it by his conduct, in which he has always united
warm notions of honour with cool attention to oeconomy, the spirit of
a gentleman with the talents of a professor? How shall any man
deserve fortune, if he does not? But I am the guardian of five
daughters by Mr. Thrale, and must not disgrace _their_ name and
family. Was then the man my mother chose for me of higher extraction
than him I have chosen for myself? No,--but his fortune was
higher.... I wanted fortune then, perhaps: do I want it now?--Not at
all; but I am not to think about myself; I married the first time to
please my mother, I must marry the second time to please my daughter.
I have always sacrificed my own choice to that of others, so I must
sacrifice it again: but why? Oh, because I am a woman of su