dren's
interest to my love. She questioned my ability to make the sacrifice;
said one word from him would undo all my--[Here two pages are
missing].

"I told Dr. Johnson and Mr. Crutchley three days ago that I had
determined--seeing them so averse to it--that I would not go abroad,
but that, if I did not leave England, I _would_ leave London, where I
had not been treated to my mind, and where I had flung away much
unnecessary money with little satisfaction; that I was greatly in
debt, and somewhat like distress'd: that borrowing was always bad,
but of one's children worst: that Mr. Crutchley's objection to their
lending me their money when I had a mortgage to offer as security,
was unkind and harsh: that I would go live in a little way at Bath
till I had paid all my debts and cleared my income: that I would no
more be tyrannized over by people who hated or people who plundered
me, in short that I would retire and save my money and lead this
uncomfortable life no longer. They made little or no reply, and I am
resolved to do as I declared. I will draw in my expenses, lay by
every shilling I can to pay off debts and mortgages, and perhaps--who
knows? I may in six or seven years be freed from all incumbrances,
and carry a clear income of 2500_l._ a year and an estate of 500_l._
in land to the man of my heart. May I but live to discharge my
obligations to those who _hate me_; it will be paradise to discharge
them to him who _loves me_."

"_April, 1783_.--I will go to Bath: nor health, nor strength, nor my
children's affections, have I. My daughter does not, I suppose, much
delight in this scheme [viz, retrenchment of expenses and removal to
Bath], but why should I lead a life of delighting her, who would not
lose a shilling of interest or an ounce of pleasure to save my life
from perishing? When I was near losing my existence from the
contentions of my mind, and was seized with a temporary delirium in
Argyll Street, she and her two eldest sisters laughed at my distress,
and observed to dear Fanny Burney, that it was _monstrous droll_.
_She_ could hardly suppress her indignation.

"Piozzi was ill.... A sore throat, Pepys said it was, with four
ulcers in it: the people about me said it had been lanced, and I
mentioned it slightly before the girls.' Has he cut his own throat?'
says Miss Thrale in her quiet manner. This was less inexcusable
because she hated him, and the other was her sister; though, had she
exerted the goo