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ry happy! RUD. If I'm not, it'll be my first bad investment. Still, there is such a thing as a slump even in Matrimonials. BAR. I often picture us in the long, cold, dark December evenings, sitting close to each other and singing impassioned duets to keep us warm, and thinking of all the lovely things we could afford to buy if we chose, and, at the same time, planning out our lives in a spirit of the most rigid and exacting economy! RUD. It's a most beautiful and touching picture of connubial bliss in its highest and most rarefied development! DUET--BARONESS and RUDOLPH. BAR. As o'er our penny roll we sing, It is not reprehensive To think what joys our wealth would bring Were we disposed to do the thing Upon a scale extensive. There's rich mock-turtle--thick and clear-- RUD. (confidentially). Perhaps we'll have it once a year! BAR. (delighted). You are an open-handed dear! RUD. Though, mind you, it's expensive. BAR. No doubt it is expensive. BOTH. How fleeting are the glutton's joys! With fish and fowl he lightly toys, RUD. And pays for such expensive tricks Sometimes as much as two-and-six! BAR. As two-and-six? RUD. As two-and-six-- BOTH. Sometimes as much as two-and-six! BAR. It gives him no advantage, mind-- For you and he have only dined, And you remain when once it's down A better man by half-a-crown. RUD. By half-a-crown? BAR. By half-a-crown. BOTH. Yes, two-and-six is half-a-crown. Then let us be modestly merry, And rejoice with a derry down derry. For to laugh and to sing No extravagance bring-- It's a joy economical, very! BAR. Although as you're of course aware (I never tried to hide it) I moisten my insipid fare With water--which I can't abear-- RUD. Nor I--I can't abide it. BAR. This pleasing fact our souls will cheer, With fifty thousand pounds a year We could indulge in table beer! RUD. Get out!
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