have their chins, let their hair grow, and
wear hats,--they all wear tight clothes,--they all drink wine, eat pork,
and do not believe in the blessed Mahomed. But it is plain they are
governed by many kings; see the numerous ambassadors who flock here to
rub their foreheads against the threshold of our Imperial Gate. So many
of these dogs are here that it is necessary to put one's trust in the
mercies of Allah, such is the pollution they create.'

'In the name of the Prophet speak on,' said I, 'and I will write. Praise
be to Allah! you are a man of wisdom.' Upon which, whilst I took out my
inkstand from my girdle, and composed myself to write, he stroked his
beard, and curled the tips of his moustachios, recollecting within
himself which were the principal nations of Europe.

He prefaced his information by saying, 'But why trouble yourself? They
all are dogs alike,--all sprung from one dunghill; and if there be truth
in Heaven, and we believe our blessed Koran, all will burn hereafter in
one common furnace. But stop,' said he, counting his fingers: 'in the
first place, there is the _Nemse Giaour_, the Austrian infidel, our
neighbours; a quiet, smoking race, who send us cloth, steel, and
glassware; and are governed by a Shah springing from the most ancient
race of unbelievers: he sends us a representative to be fed and clothed.

'Then come those heretics of Muscovites, a most unclean and accursed
generation. Their country is so large, that one extremity is said to be
buried in eternal snows, whilst its other is raging with heat. They are
truly our enemy; and when we kill them, we cry _Mashallah_, praise be to
God! Men and women govern there by turns; but they resemble us inasmuch
as they put their sovereigns to death almost as frequently as we do.

'Again, there is a Prussian infidel, who sends us an ambassador, Allah
only knows why; for we are in no need of such vermin: but, you well
know, that the Imperial Gate is open to the dog as well as the true
believer; for the rain of Providence descends equally upon both.

'Who shall I say next, in the name of the Prophet? Let us see: there are
two northern unbelievers, living at the extremity of all things,--the
Danes and Swedes. They are small tribes, scarcely to be accounted among
men, although it is said the Shah of Denmark is the most despotic of the
kings of Franks, not having even janissaries to dispute his will; whilst
the Swedes are famous for a madman, who once wag