on than this. If it had been she and Miss Mapp
who had been embroiled, hoarding and dress would have occurred to her.
But as it was, no one in his senses could dream that the Captain and the
Major were sartorial rivals, unless they had quarrelled over the
question as to which of them wore the snuffiest old clothes.

"Give it up," she said. "What did they quarrel about?"

"Passion!" said the Padre, in those full, deep tones in which next
Sunday he would allude to God's time. "I do not mean anger, but the
flame that exalts man to heaven or--or does exactly the opposite!"

"But whomever for?" asked Diva, quite thrown off her bearings. Such a
thing had never occurred to her, for, as far as she was aware, passion,
except in the sense of temper, did not exist in Tilling. Tilling was
far too respectable.

The Padre considered this a moment.

"I am betraying no confidence," he said, "because no one has confided in
me. But there certainly is a lady in this town--I do not allude to Miss
Irene--who has long enjoyed the Major's particular esteem. May not some
deprecating remark----"

Wee wifie gave a much louder squeal than usual.

"He means poor Elizabeth," she said in a high, tremulous voice. "Fancy,
Kenneth!"

Diva, a few seconds before, had seen no reason why the Padre should
drink the rest of her port, and was now in the act of drinking some of
that unusual beverage herself. She tried to swallow it, but it was too
late, and next moment all the openings in her face were fountains of
that delicious wine. She choked and she gurgled, until the last drop had
left her windpipe--under the persuasion of pattings on the back from the
others--and then she gave herself up to loud, hoarse laughter, through
which there shrilled the staccato squeaks of wee wifie. Nothing, even if
you are being laughed at yourself, is so infectious as prolonged
laughter, and the Padre felt himself forced to join it. When one of them
got a little better, a relapse ensued by reason of infection from the
others, and it was not till exhaustion set in, that this triple volcano
became quiescent again.

"Only fancy!" said Evie faintly. "How did such an idea get into your
head, Kenneth?"

His voice shook as he answered.

"Well, we were all a little worked up this morning," he said. "The
idea--really, I don't know what we have all been laughing at----"

"I do," said Diva. "Go on. About the idea----"

A feminine, a diabolical inspiration flared within