riority--Miss Mapp did him that justice--but he
made other people invest him with it, so that it came to the same thing:
he was invested. He did not drag the fact of his sister being the
Contessa Faraglione into conversation, but if talk turned on sisters,
and he was asked about his, he confessed to her nobility. The same
phenomenon appeared when the innocent county of Hampshire was mentioned,
for it turned out that he knew the county well, being one of the Wyses
of Whitchurch. You couldn't say he talked about it, but he made other
people talk about it.... He was quite impervious to satire on such
points, for when, goaded to madness, Miss Mapp had once said that she
was one of the Mapps of Maidstone, he had merely bowed and said: "A very
old family, I believe," and when the conversation branched off on to
old families he had rather pointedly said "we" to Miss Mapp. So poor
Miss Mapp was sorry she had been satirical.... But for some reason,
Tilling never ceased to play up to Mr. Wyse, and there was not a
tea-party or a bridge-party given during the whole period of his
residence there to which he was not invited. Hostesses always started
with him, sending him round a note with "To await answer," written in
the top left-hand corner, since he had clearly stated that he considered
the telephone an undignified instrument only fit to be used for
household purposes, and had installed his in the kitchen, in the manner
of the Wyses of Whitchurch. That alone, apart from Mr. Wyse's
old-fashioned notions on the subject, made telephoning impossible, for
your summons was usually answered by his cook, who instantly began
scolding the butcher irrespective and disrespectful of whom you were.
When her mistake was made known to her, she never apologized, but
grudgingly said she would call Mr. Figgis, who was Mr. Wyse's valet. Mr.
Figgis always took a long time in coming, and when he came he sneezed or
did something disagreeable and said: "Yes, yes; what is it?" in a very
testy manner. After explanations he would consent to tell his master,
which took another long time, and even then Mr. Wyse did not come
himself, and usually refused the proffered invitation. Miss Mapp had
tried the expedient of sending Withers to the telephone when she wanted
to get at Mr. Wyse, but this had not succeeded, for Withers and Mr.
Wyse's cook quarrelled so violently before they got to business that Mr.
Figgis had to calm the cook and Withers to complain to Miss M