Father, that his son is walling to return home--the
Poet, that ~212~~his production has been favourably received by the
public--the Physician, that a difficult cure is transmitting his fame
to posterity--the Actor, that his talents are duly appreciated--the
Agriculturist, that grain fetches a good price--the upright man, that
his character is defended--the poor man, that beer, meat, bread, and
vegetables, are so within his reach that he can assure himself of being
able to obtain a good Sunday's dinner.

"Tho' they differ in narrie, all alike, just the same, Morning
Chronicle, Times, Advertiser, British Press, Morning Post, of News--what
a host We read every day, and grow wiser; The Examiner, Whig--all alive
to the gig, While each one his favourite chooses; Star, Traveller, and
Sun, to keep up the fun, And tell all the world what the news is."

"Well done," said Bob, "you seem to have them all at your tongue's end,
and their general contents in your head; but, for my part, I am struck
with surprise to know how it is they find interesting matter enough at
all times to fill their columns."

"Nothing more easy," continued Dashall, "especially for a newspaper
whose contents are not sanctioned by authority; in which case they are
so much the more the receptacle of invention--thence--We hear--it is
said--a correspondent remarks--whereas, &c--all which serve to please,
surprise, and inform. We hear, can alter a man's face as the weather
would a barometer--It is said, can distort another like a fit of the
spasm--If, can make some cry--while Suppose, can make others laugh--but
a Whereas operates like an electric shock; and though it often runs the
extremity of the kingdom in unison with the rest, they altogether form
a very agreeable mixture, occasionally interspersed, as opportunity
offers, with long extracts from the last published novel, and an
account of the prevailing fashions. But domestic occurrences form a very
essential part of this folio: thus, a marriage hurts an old maid and
mortifies a young one, while it consoles many a poor dejected husband,
who is secretly pleased to find another fallen into his case--a death,
if of a wife, makes husbands envy the widower, while, perhaps, some one
of the women who censure his alleged want of ~213~~decent sorrow, marry
him within a month after--in fact, every person is put in motion by a
Newspaper.

"Here various news is found, of love and strife;
Of peace