(With bonnets or with Grand Old Men),
Wait a little longer!

From Eighty unto Eighty-Five
These collars were the rage, friends;
Didn't we keep the game alive,
In spite of creeping age, friends?
But oh, that horrid Eighty-Six!
They deemed me fairly settled,
As though just ferried o'er the Styx,
But I was tougher mettled.
I knew the fashion would return
For just this size of collar.
(And that's a lesson they'll soon learn,
You bet your bottom dollar.)
Bless you, I'm "popping up again,"
For four years' fighting stronger.
Once more I'm here to fire the train--
Wait a little longer!

I've told you all about BALFOUR,
And his black Irish scandals;
(With side-lights upon days of yore,
My bachelor life, and candles.)
I've touched on Disestablishment
(I trust you'll not say _thinly_),
On Eight Hours Bills a speech I've spent,
And scarified M'KINLEY.
And now, to wind up, I'll explain
My favourite views on Fashion:
_Big Collars will come back again!!!_
'Twill raise the Tories' passion.
But, with these Collars, this Umbrella,
I'd face them, though thrice stronger!
Friends--trust once more your Grand Old Fella,
And--wait a _leetle_ longer!

* * * * *

A BOOTHIFUL IDEA!

Just finished my article on "Antediluvian Archaeology in its relation
to Genesis and the Iliad," and now all that remains to do is to
carry the rest of my books down to the new library, make catalogue,
consider subjects for five more speeches, write thirty-six letters and
postcards, and polish off the ten last clauses of the Home-Rule Bill.
This idleness is oppressive. Not used to it. What shall I do?

Piles of correspondence by morning post! What _can_ this be about?
Ah! I remember now! _Nineteenth Century_ just out, of course. Glad
I thought of starting "Society of Universal Beneficence." Will keep
me going after excitement of Midlothian. Wonder how many people
will "bind themselves to give away a fixed proportion of their
income,"--also what the proportion will be, if they do. Don't know if
I _should_ have thought of it, if it hadn't been for General BOOTH's
book. Remarkable person, the General. Perhaps he'd order his Army to
vote solid for Home Rule, if I offered him a place in my next Cabinet?
Must sound him on the subject. Salvationists quite a power now. Can't
cut Field-Marshal VON BOOTH _up_ in a Magazine