FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52  
53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   75   76   77   >>   >|  
e White Blackbird said things about her. It did not attack her. It did worse. It admired her ...impudently. It spoke of her once as "Norah," and once as "the Scrope Flapper." Its headline proclaimed: "Plucky Flappers Hold Up L. G." CHAPTER THE THIRD - INSOMNIA (1) THE night after his conversation with Eleanor was the first night of the bishop's insomnia. It was the definite beginning of a new phase in his life. Doctors explain to us that the immediate cause of insomnia is always some poisoned or depleted state of the body, and no doubt the fatigues and hasty meals of the day had left the bishop in a state of unprecedented chemical disorder, with his nerves irritated by strange compounds and unsoothed by familiar lubricants. But chemical disorders follow mental disturbances, and the core and essence of his trouble was an intellectual distress. For the first time in his life he was really in doubt, about himself, about his way of living, about all his persuasions. It was a general doubt. It was not a specific suspicion upon this point or that. It was a feeling of detachment and unreality at once extraordinarily vague and extraordinarily oppressive. It was as if he discovered himself flimsy and transparent in a world of minatory solidity and opacity. It was as if he found himself made not of flesh and blood but of tissue paper. But this intellectual insecurity extended into his physical sensations. It affected his feeling in his skin, as if it were not absolutely his own skin. And as he lay there, a weak phantom mentally and bodily, an endless succession and recurrence of anxieties for which he could find no reassurance besieged him. Chief of this was his distress for Eleanor. She was the central figure in this new sense of illusion in familiar and trusted things. It was not only that the world of his existence which had seemed to be the whole universe had become diaphanous and betrayed vast and uncontrollable realities beyond it, but his daughter had as it were suddenly opened a door in this glassy sphere of insecurity that had been his abiding refuge, a door upon the stormy rebel outer world, and she stood there, young, ignorant, confident, adventurous, ready to step out. "Could it be possible that she did not believe?" He saw her very vividly as he had seen her in the dining-room, slender and upright, half child, half woman, so fragile and so fearless. And the door she opened thus c
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49   50   51   52  
53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   75   76   77   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

familiar

 

chemical

 

opened

 

feeling

 

distress

 

extraordinarily

 
insecurity
 

intellectual

 

Eleanor

 
bishop

things

 

insomnia

 

illusion

 

trusted

 
figure
 

central

 
existence
 

betrayed

 

uncontrollable

 

diaphanous


attack
 

universe

 

besieged

 

impudently

 

phantom

 
Scrope
 

absolutely

 

mentally

 

bodily

 

realities


admired

 

anxieties

 

endless

 

succession

 

recurrence

 
reassurance
 

daughter

 
fearless
 

fragile

 

vividly


upright

 
slender
 

dining

 

adventurous

 

glassy

 

sphere

 
abiding
 

Flapper

 
suddenly
 
refuge