at I was all this while a married woman, a
wife to Mr. ---- the linen-draper, who, though he had left me by the
necessity of his circumstances, had no power to discharge me from the
marriage contract which was between us, or to give me a legal liberty
to marry again; so that I had been no less than a whore and an
adulteress all this while. I then reproached myself with the liberties
I had taken, and how I had been a snare to this gentleman, and that
indeed I was principal in the crime; that now he was mercifully
snatched out of the gulf by a convincing work upon his mind, but that I
was left as if I was forsaken of God's grace, and abandoned by Heaven
to a continuing in my wickedness.

Under these reflections I continued very pensive and sad for near
month, and did not go down to the Bath, having no inclination to be
with the woman whom I was with before; lest, as I thought, she should
prompt me to some wicked course of life again, as she had done; and
besides, I was very loth she should know I was cast off as above.

And now I was greatly perplexed about my little boy. It was death to
me to part with the child, and yet when I considered the danger of
being one time or other left with him to keep without a maintenance to
support him, I then resolved to leave him where he was; but then I
concluded also to be near him myself too, that I then might have the
satisfaction of seeing him, without the care of providing for him.

I sent my gentleman a short letter, therefore, that I had obeyed his
orders in all things but that of going back to the Bath, which I could
not think of for many reasons; that however parting from him was a
wound to me that I could never recover, yet that I was fully satisfied
his reflections were just, and would be very far from desiring to
obstruct his reformation or repentance.

Then I represented my own circumstances to him in the most moving terms
that I was able. I told him that those unhappy distresses which first
moved him to a generous and an honest friendship for me, would, I hope,
move him to a little concern for me now, though the criminal part of
our correspondence, which I believed neither of us intended to fall
into at the time, was broken off; that I desired to repent as sincerely
as he had done, but entreated him to put me in some condition that I
might not be exposed to the temptations which the devil never fails to
excite us to from the frightful prospect of poverty and distress