accounts. I had by many letters and much
importunity, and with the intercession of my mother too, had a second
return of some goods from my brother (as I now call him) in Virginia,
to make up the damage of the cargo I brought away with me, and this too
was upon the condition of my sealing a general release to him, and to
send it him by his correspondent at Bristol, which, though I thought
hard of, yet I was obliged to promise to do. However, I managed so
well in this case, that I got my goods away before the release was
signed, and then I always found something or other to say to evade the
thing, and to put off the signing it at all; till at length I pretended
I must write to my brother, and have his answer, before I could do it.

Including this recruit, and before I got the last #50, I found my
strength to amount, put all together, to about #400, so that with that
I had about #450. I had saved above #100 more, but I met with a
disaster with that, which was this--that a goldsmith in whose hands I
had trusted it, broke, so I lost #70 of my money, the man's composition
not making above #30 out of his #100. I had a little plate, but not
much, and was well enough stocked with clothes and linen.

With this stock I had the world to begin again; but you are to consider
that I was not now the same woman as when I lived at Redriff; for,
first of all, I was near twenty years older, and did not look the
better for my age, nor for my rambles to Virginia and back again; and
though I omitted nothing that might set me out to advantage, except
painting, for that I never stooped to, and had pride enough to think I
did not want it, yet there would always be some difference seen between
five-and-twenty and two-and-forty.

I cast about innumerable ways for my future state of life, and began to
consider very seriously what I should do, but nothing offered. I took
care to make the world take me for something more than I was, and had
it given out that I was a fortune, and that my estate was in my own
hands; the last of which was very true, the first of it was as above.
I had no acquaintance, which was one of my worst misfortunes, and the
consequence of that was, I had no adviser, at least who could assist
and advise together; and above all, I had nobody to whom I could in
confidence commit the secret of my circumstances to, and could depend
upon for their secrecy and fidelity; and I found by experience, that to
be friendless is the wor