the arrival of several waiters, who
recognised, from frequent practice, the incipient symptoms of a row, could
have prevented some little display of pugilistic science. The temper of
Cutts was, of course, a little ruffled by the encounter, and, in order to
restore his mind to its usual equilibrium, he treated himself to another
soother, and then ascended the stairs to see what I was doing. By that
time it was late in the evening.

A tremendous slap on the shoulder roused me from my dreams. I started up,
and there, to my amazement, was Cutts sitting upon the bed with a
fresh-lighted cigar in his mouth, puffing as vigorously as an engine.

"Good heavens, Cutts!" cried I, "what is the matter? I hope nothing has
gone wrong? Where's Mary?"

"All right, old fellow," said the Saxon with a mysterious smile. "We've
plenty time yet for another glass of brandy and water."

"Surely, Cutts, you can't have been making a beast of yourself!" and I
seized a candle. There could be no doubt of the fact: he was very
fearfully disguised.

"That I should have trusted myself in the hands of such a jackass!" was my
first exclamation. "Leave the room this moment, sir, or I shall knock you
down with a chair; and never let me see your disgusting countenance
again."

"Did you apply those epi--epitaphs to me, sir?" said the Saxon, with an
abortive attempt to look dignified. "You shall hear from me in the
morning. This is an ungrateful world--very! I've been doing all I can for
him, keeping all the liquor out of the postilions--and that is my reward!
I can't help it," continued Cutts, lapsing into a melodramatic
reminiscence of the Adelphi--"so I'll just belay my pipe. Bless my dear
eyes--how came the salt-water here? Hold hard, old boy,--no snivelling!"
and he drew the back of his hand across his eyes, as if he was parting
from a messmate upon the eve of execution.

"This is intolerable!" I cried. "Get out, sir, or I shall throw you over
the window!"

"Like to see you try it," said Cutts with a Coriolanus air of defiance. I
had just enough command over myself to see that a row with the Saxon was
worse than useless, as it would effectually destroy my last remaining
chance. I therefore changed my plans.

"Mark me, sir. I am going to ring the bell for the waiters, and if you
don't choose to relieve me of your presence at once, they shall have my
orders to carry you down stairs. Will you go, sir? No! then take the
consequences;" and I rang t