ife oop
theer--when I wur a thinkin' she laaeft!
Then I rooshed fur to catch her to coodle and gie her a greaetful kiss--
Eh, but I right down bloobered (_with pained surprise_)--fur she scatted
awaaey with a hiss!
"Weaen't niver 'urt 'ee ageaen!" I sez, "if thee'll hoaenly forgit what's
past!"
She wur raaere an' stiff fur a bit, she wur--but
(_with a doddering complacency_) I maaede her coom round at last!
An' I had ma Michaelmas denner the saaeme--an' a arty good denner he wur!
Sat down coompany, tew--fur I cudn't ha' done without _her_!
What did we maaeke a meael on? (_Shamefaced confusion here, expressed by
scratching the head._) Well,--happen thee'll think me a haaess--
But I'll tell 'ee: (_with candour_) I dined wi Minty on the stooffin'
an happle saaess!

(_Retire without ostentation, to have your jaw set at the nearest
Surgeon's._)

* * * * *

SCARCELY WORTH WHILE.--For some personal remarks on the Prince of WALES,
utterly gratuitous and in the worst possible taste, the _P. M. G._, as
we hear, has been dropped by the Service Clubs, and subsequently by the
Turf. As a mark of strong disapprobation this was right enough, but if
it was intended as a punishment which would inflict loss, we are
inclined to think such boycotting may have had exactly the contrary
effect. How happy was THACKERAY'S title "_The Pall Mall Gazette_ written
by gentlemen for gentlemen!" If it is not so now, what have we got
in-STEAD?

* * * * *

Philosophy at the Popping Crease.

"The glorious uncertainty?" why, to be sure
That it _must_ be the slowest should see at a glance,
For Cricket, as long as the sport shall endure,
_Must_ be in its nature a mere game of chance.
"'Tis all pitch and toss;" one can show it is so;--
'Tisn't science or strength rules its losses or winnings.
Half depends on the "pitch"--of the wickets, you know,
The rest on the "toss"--for first innings.

* * * * *

"GOOD BUSINESS."--An advertiser in the _Daily Chronicle_ of the 12th
inst., has not a bad idea of a fair profit:--

BABY-CARRIAGE Bassinette, unsoiled; 4 rubber-wheels,
carriage-springs, reversible hood, handsome rug, complete, L27; cost
L4 10_s._, last month. Mrs. W.

If "Mrs. W." has not already obtained her price, we sincerely wish she
may get it. She deserves it.

*