My Lawyer.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHAT'S THE NEXT FASHION?"

"Varium et mutabile semper
Foemina."

_Madame France._ "I WONDER WHICH WILL SUIT ME BEST, AFTER ALL. I'M
BEGINNING TO BE TIRED OF THIS."]

* * * * *

CRICKET AT LORD'S.

_Hits by Dumb Crambo, Junior._

[Illustration: Some fine Free Hitting.]

[Illustration: Well Stopped!]

* * * * *

THE LESSON OF THE ROYAL REVIEW.

(_By Our Special Scientific Experimentalist._)

It was with great satisfaction that I received my orders to visit
Aldershot on the occasion of the Royal Review, "to deduce from the
display the exact position occupied by England amongst the Powers of
Europe as a Military Nation." I felt that hardly a better man could have
been chosen for the task. My experience in the four divisions of the
globe, my knowledge of the wars of the last three quarters of a century,
exactly fitted me for the task. I said to myself, "I am intrusted with
the performance of a solemn and sacred duty. I am asked to carefully
report upon the condition of a large body of men, with a view to
sampling the entire British Army. The large body of men shall have my
careful consideration." Actuated by these worthy motives, I left
Waterloo in the early morn (it was scarcely nine o'clock), and travelled
to Aldershot.

On my way down I entered into discussion with four civilians, whose
interest in the day's proceedings seemed to be centred in the great
question of lunch. It was in vain that I attempted to sound them upon
the efficiency or the reverse of the Auxiliary Forces (they were all
more or less connected with the Volunteers), because they confined their
conversation to where they were likely to find So-and-So's drag on
Bourley Wood, and where the ---- Volunteer Battalion of the Royal
Such-and-Such a Regiment was situated.

"What do you think of canvass as a shelter?" I asked, note-book in hand.

"Oh, a mess-tent is as good a place as anywhere else if the cookery and
wines are all right," was the only reply I received that had the
slightest bearing on the military situation. Then my companions refused
to talk of anything further save the racing fixtures for the following
fortnight.

At Aldershot I found a number of omnibuses drawn up, labelled "House of
Commons," which were soon occupied by elderly ladies, who appeared to be
excellent representatives of