d be told to children yet unborn as
the crowning glory of their blessed lives.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

[Illustration: HOPE FOR ALL.

_"Coach" (to Volatile Pupil)._ "ARE YOU AT THEOREM B OR C, MR.
TITTERBY?"

_Mr. T._ "T' TELL Y' TH' TRUTH, SIR, I'M 'AT SEA'--AT SEA,
SIR,--COMPLETELY." [_Chuckles._ (_He turned out an utter failure, was
plucked at College, and had to take to ART-CRITICISM!_)]

* * * * *

"MARGARINE."

(_A Middleman's Lament._)

"For the protection of the public, all consignments of the spurious
compound that has hitherto, under the title of 'Butterine,' passed
current in the market for genuine butter, will in future be
distinctly labelled and known as 'Margarine.'"--_Trade
Intelligence._

Ah! tell me not they've changed thy name,
So long a sweet decoy,
By which I've made my little game,
And palmed off thy alloy.
Of chemicals and horses' fat,
And things not nice or clean,
You were composed; but what of that?--
You looked like butter in the pat.
Why call you "Margarine"?

Ah! why the public undeceive?
They bought thee with a will,
And in thy virtues so believe
That they would buy thee still!
Why have such meddling measures framed
By legislation mean?
Alas! thy origin's proclaimed;
No more with butter art thou named,
But henceforth "Margarine"!

* * * * *

INAESTHETIC AEDILES.

Bad luck to the Board of Works in their project of demolishing the
steps, and disfiguring the platform of St. Martin's Church, on the mere
pretence of widening the entrance of the proposed Charing Cross Road.
All my eye and BETTY--namesake, but no relation to the Saint.
Convenience is a mere cloak for their unnecessary Vandalism, a cloak
which St. Martin would never have divided with tasteless beggars.

* * * * *

LARKS FOR LEGISLATORS.

"There would be no departure from the most highly respectable
precedents in holding open-air sittings of the House of Commons,
while its advantages in the hot weather, as regards not only
physical comfort, but mental and moral fitness for the work of the
senator, are too obvious to need enumeration."

_Daily Paper._

SCENE--_The Grounds of the Crystal Palace. The House of Commons
assembled in the Rosary; Reporters (armed w