about the day of the month, and says he's just arrived
from the East-Indies, for he's cursed apt for to make blunders;--that about
the corn and the pigs; ha, ha, ha.

LOVEYET. Do you laugh at me, you vagabond?

HUMPHRY. Not I, old gentleman; I've got too much respect for old age, I'll
insure you.

LOVEYET. I shall go distracted!

HUMPHRY. Put on your spectacles and look again--I'm sure your eyes must
perceive you, for I'll give my corporal oath he an't in the East-Indies.

LOVEYET. It is not the East-Indies, you great calf; you mean the
West-Indies.

HUMPHRY. No matter if it's East or West; the odds an't much for the matter
o' that.

LOVEYET. What an abominable fool!

HUMPHRY. I'm no more a fool than you are--

LOVEYET. Be gone, you scoundrel! Here, Thomas--[_Enter THOMAS._], lug this
fellow out of doors.

THOMAS. Yes, sir.

HUMPHRY. No, you sha'n't tho', d' ye see.

THOMAS. I'm cursedly afraid of the great two-handed fellow too.

[_Aside, and exit with HUMPHRY._

LOVEYET [_manet_].

Abusive rascal! But I won't put myself in a passion with such a vile
animal.--I--I'll read the letter again.

"Honour'd Sir,

"I have just time enough to acquaint you by the _Oceanus_, Captain Seaborn,
who is now preparing to sail, that I have at length adjusted my business so
as to be able to leave this place for New-York, the beginning of March; in
which case you may look for me before the first of April next; when I
promise myself the happiness of seeing you once more, and enjoying the
society of the best of parents: till then I shall continue to be, with
truly filial attachment, and anxious expectation of the happy event, your
obliged and dutiful son,--CHARLES LOVEYET."

I wonder he don't say anything of the coffee and madeira I wrote to him
about;--egad, I must mind the main chance; a penny sav'd, is a penny got;
and charity begins at home. By strictly attending to these excellent
maxims, I am worth about five and twenty per cent. more than any other
merchant in the city; and as for that stupid proverb, money is the root of
all evil, 'tis well enough for those to say so, who have none; for my part,
I know that much of the good things of this world is better than not
enough--that a man can live longer upon a hundred thousand pounds than one
thousand pounds--that if, the more we have the more we want, the more we
have the more we make--and that it is better to make hay while th