our
sirname, I mean.

HUMPHRY. My proper sirname is Humphry Cubb; why our family is the most
largest family within the circumroundibus of fifty miles, and the most
grandest too, tho' I say it that shou'dn't say it; for my father's
father's great-grandfather was a just-ass of the peace, when King George
the third was a sucking baby, and, therefore, as father says, a greater
_man_ then, than he was, ha, ha, ha. And his great aunt, by his mother's
side, had the honour to be chief waiting woman to Mynheer Van
Hardsprakencrampdejawmetlongname, the Dutch governor's public
scratchetary; but I needn't go so far back neither, for I've got, at
this present time, no less than two second cousins; one of 'em is
soup-provider for the county, and t'other belongs to the liglislature,
and both belonging to our family too;--both Cubbs.

WORTHNOUGHT. Yes, the world abounds with Cubbs, just such unlick'd ones as
you are;--there is a profusion of them in this city.--You must know, _I_
am Dick Worthnought, esquire; a gentleman, a buck of the blood, and a--you
understand me.

HUMPHRY. Why, your family must be as big as mine, then; for I've seen
hundreds of such Worth-nothing bloody bucks as you, since I've been in
town.

WORTHNOUGHT. Your criticisms are perfectly barbarous and disagreeable,
'foregad; but,--will you let me know what you and the West-India young
gentleman were whispering about, at Miss Trueman's?

HUMPHRY. Yes.--You can have Miss Trueman now, if you've a mind.

WORTHNOUGHT. Can I? Only prove your words, and enroll me your everlasting,
your indissoluble friend, demme.

HUMPHRY. Friend me none of your friends; I don't want such everlasting
friends as you, d'ye see, becase why, if you never make a beginning with
your friendship, I'm sure it can't be everlasting; and if you've got a mind
to shew your friendliness, I'm sure you cou'dn't have a more fitter time
than now.

WORTHNOUGHT. What wou'd the addity have me say, I wonder.

HUMPHRY. I wou'dn't have you say anything,--you talk too much already, for
the matter o' that; I like for to see people do things, not talk 'em.

WORTHNOUGHT. There [_Gives him money._]--is that what you want?

HUMPHRY. Aye, I thought you understood me well enough.--Your friendship
wants as much spurring and kicking and coaxing as our lazy old gelding at
home;--I wou'dn't trust such a friend as far as I cou'd fling a cow by the
tail.

WORTHNOUGHT. Poh, poh,--to the point, to the point.

HUMP