the truth, that my uncle had pointed me out to him
as an object of his vengeance, and that Captain Hawkins was too dutiful,
and too dependent a son, not to obey him. The state of my father was
more distressing than ever, but there was something very ludicrous in
his fancies. He had fancied himself a jackass, and had brayed for a
week, kicking the old nurse in the stomach, so as to double her up like
a hedgehog. He had taken it into his head that he was a pump; and with
one arm held out as a spout, he had obliged the poor old nurse to work
the other up and down for hours together. In fact, there was a string
of strange conceptions of this kind that had accumulated, so as to drive
my poor sister almost mad: and sometimes his ideas would be attended
with a very heavy expense, as he would send for architects, make
contracts, etcetera, for building, supposing himself to have come to the
title and property of his brother. This, being the basis of his
disease, occurred frequently. I wrote to poor Ellen, giving her my best
advice; and by this time the brig was again ready for sea, and we
expected to sail immediately. I did not forget to write to O'Brien, but
the distance between us was so great, that I knew I could not obtain his
answer, probably, for a year, and I felt a melancholy foreboding, how
much I required his advice.

Our orders were to proceed to Portsmouth, and join a convoy collected
there, bound up the Baltic, under the charge of the _Acasta_ frigate,
and two other vessels. We did not sail with any pleasure, or hopes of
gaining much in the way of prize-money. Our captain was enough to make
any ship a hell; and our ship's company were composed of a mutinous and
incorrigible set of scoundrels, with, of course, a few exceptions. How
different did the officers find the brig after losing such a captain as
O'Brien, and so fine a ship's company! But there was no help for it,
and all we had to do was to make the best of it, and hope for better
times. The cat was at work nearly every day, and I must acknowledge
that, generally speaking, it was deserved; although sometimes a report
from the sergeant of marines of any good man favoured by me, was certain
to be attended to. This system of receiving reports direct from an
inferior officer, instead of through me, as first lieutenant, became so
annoying, that I resolved, at all risk to expostulate. I soon had an
opportunity, for one morning the captain said to me, "M