bear?"

"Lord bless you, Mr Simple--my lord, I should say--he's been neither
bull nor bear for these three years. He was obliged to _waddle_; if I
didn't know much about bulls and bears, I know very well what a _lame
duck_ is to my cost. We're off the Stock Exchange, and Mr Handycock is
set up as a coal merchant."

"Indeed!"

"Yes; that is, we have no coals, but we take orders, and have
half-a-crown a chaldron for our trouble. As Mr Handycock says, it's a
very good business, if you only had enough for it. Perhaps your
lordship may be able to give us an order. It's nothing out of your
pocket, and something into ours."

"I shall be very happy when I return again to town, Mrs Handycock. I
hope the parrot is quite well."

"Oh! my lord, that's a sore subject; only think of Mr Handycock, when
we retired from the 'Change, taking my parrot one day and selling it for
five guineas, saying, five guineas was better than a nasty squalling,
bird. To be sure, there was nothing for dinner that day; but, as Jemima
agreed with me, we'd rather have gone without a dinner for a month, than
have parted with Poll. Since we've looked up a little in the world, I
saved up five guineas, by hook or by crook, and tried to get Poll back
again, but the lady said she wouldn't take fifty guineas for him."

Mrs Handycock then jumped from her chair, saying, "Good morning, my
lord; I'll leave one of Mr Handycock's cards. Jemima would be so glad
to see you."

As she left the room, Celeste laughingly asked me whether I had any more
such acquaintances.

I replied, that I believed not; but I must acknowledge that Mrs Trotter
was brought to my recollection, and I was under some alarm lest she
should also come and pay me her respects.

The next day I had another unexpected visit. We had just sat down to
dinner, when we heard a disturbance below; and, shortly after, the
general's French servant came up in great haste, saying that there was a
foreigner below, who wished to see me; that he had been caning one of
the waiters of the hotel, for not paying him proper respect.

"Who can that be?" thought I: and I went out of the door and looked over
the banisters, as the noise still continued.

"You must not come here to beat Englishmen, I can tell you," roared one
of the waiters. "What do we care for your foreign counts?"

"Sacre, canaille!" cried the other party, in a contemptuous voice, which
I well knew.

"Ay, canal!--we'll duck you in