old bachelors for being teased about getting married,
and about flirting, and being fickle and false-hearted. I am assured,
however, that Master Simon had really persuaded himself the widow had a
kindness for him; in consequence of which he had been at some
extraordinary expense in new clothes, and had actually got Frank
Bracebridge to order him a coat from Stultz. He began to throw out
hints about the importance of a man's settling himself in life before he
grew old; he would look grave whenever the widow and matrimony were
mentioned in the same sentence; and privately asked the opinion of the
squire and parson about the prudence of marrying a widow with a rich
jointure, but who had several children.

An important member of a great family connection cannot harp much upon
the theme of matrimony without its taking wind; and it soon got buzzed
about that Mr. Simon Bracebridge was actually gone to Doncaster races,
with a new horse, but that he meant to return in a curricle with a lady
by his side. Master Simon did, indeed, go to the races, and that with a
new horse; and the dashing widow did make her appearance in her
curricle; but it was unfortunately driven by a strapping young Irish
dragoon, with whom even Master Simon's self-complacency would not allow
him to enter into competition, and to whom she was married shortly
after.

It was a matter of sore chagrin to Master Simon for several months,
having never before been fully committed. The dullest head in the
family, had a joke upon him; and there is no one that likes less to be
bantered than an absolute joker. He took refuge for a time at Lady
Lillycraft's, until the matter should blow over; and occupied himself by
looking over her accounts, regulating the village choir, and inculcating
loyalty into a pet bullfinch by teaching him to whistle "God save the
King."

[Illustration: "God save the King!"]

He has now pretty nearly recovered from the mortification; holds up his
head, and laughs as much as any one; again affects to pity married men,
and is particularly facetious about widows, when Lady Lillycraft is not
by. His only time of trial is when the general gets hold of him, who is
infinitely heavy and persevering in his waggery, and will interweave a
dull joke through the various topics of a whole dinner-time. Master
Simon often parries these attacks by a stanza from his old work of
"Cupid's Solicitor for Love:"

"'Tis in vain to woo a widow over long,