d by ten. The usual results
followed. The happy home in Balham was given up. "People about here,"
said DABCHICK, "are such poor snobs"--and a more ornate mansion in
South Kensington was taken in its stead. The old friends and the
old habits were dropped. JOHNNY DABCHICK was sent to Eton with an
immoderate allowance of pocket-money, and was promptly christened
"PEKOE" by his schoolfellows. Mrs. DABCHICK rides in a huge landau
with blue wheels, and leaves cards on the fringes of the aristocracy.
DABCHICK himself aspires to Parliament, and never keeps the same
circle of friends for more than about six months. He knows one shady
Viscount to whom rumour asserts that he has lent immense sums of
Guatemalan money, and the approach of a Marquis makes him palpitate
with emotion. But he is a profoundly miserable man. Of that I am
assured. It amuses me when I meet him in pompous society to address
him lightly as "DAB," and remind him of the dear old Balham days, and
the huge amount of bird's-eye we used to smoke together. For his motto
now is, "_Delenda est Balhamia_"--I speak of course figuratively--and
half-crown havannahs have usurped the place of the honest briar. I
know the poor wretch is making up his mind to cut me, but I must bear
it as best I may.

Now, my dear Sir or Madam, for this melancholy deterioration in the
DABCHICKS you are entirely responsible. I am saddened as I contemplate
it, and I appeal to you. Scarify Dukes and Duchesses, make vain and
useless social prigs as miserable as you like, but leave the DABCHICKS
of this world alone. They are simple folk, and really I cannot think
that the game is worth the candle.

Believe me to be, your obedient servant,

DIOGENES ROBINSON.

* * * * *

BROADLY SPEAKING.

Advised by friend to try Norfolk Broads for holiday. Oulton Broad,
Wroxham Broad, Fritton Decoy (curious name!), Yare, Waveney, and no
end of other rivers. Yachting, shooting, fishing, pretty scenery,
divine air, he says. Have come down to Yarmouth for a start.

Up the Bure in a yacht, and into river Thurne. All right so far. Fish
scarce. My pilot says, "wait till I get to Hickling Broad. _Full_ of
bream and roach." I agree to wait.

In Hickling Broad. Surprised to find notice-boards up all round
saying, "sailing" is prohibited in the Broad, also fishing and
shooting! "What's the meaning of this?" I ask pilot. He says, "it's
all the doings of the Lord of the Manor." Wants